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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Aunt Claudette Exposes Target's Hatred for Fat People, Is a National Treasure

Posted By on Wed, Mar 19, 2014 at 10:00 AM

click to enlarge Aunt Claudette Higgins in her Target exposé. - CNN IREPORT
  • CNN iReport
  • Aunt Claudette Higgins in her Target exposé.

If Target doesn't want obese shoppers in its stores, it should stop selling snacks.

That's the news according to Claudette Higgins, the world's best reporter in a bejeweled neck brace.

Higgins posted a scathing "exposé" on the Target store in Bridgeton Monday, alleging that the store has stopped selling plus-size clothing to discriminate against what she calls "obese shoppers."

"Apparently, Target hates fat people," Higgins says in her big scoop on CNN iReport. "Larger women go in search of fashionable clothes and are turned away."

See also: Epic Coffee Time: Hoosier Friends Give Cancer the Middle Finger in Live Online Comedy Show

Higgins even swaps her signature floral nightgown for a more professional-looking fleece to interview a fellow obese shopper who is equally outraged at Target's anti-fat discrimination.

"I think Target needs to get it together, or I'm not going to be able to shop there," says Libbie Cook. "I'm going to have to go to Walmart, and who wants to buy clothing at Walmart? I know I don't."

Target needs to either stock plus-size clothing or stop selling snacks, Cook says.

"Fat people like snacks," she adds.

Higgins is used to getting the big scoop...or at least getting close to it. In October she tried to interview Justin Bieber -- or "Dustin," as she calls him -- when he played a show in St. Louis, but couldn't because "apparently he has a very bad case of the diarrhea today," she said.

Covering Bieber is how Higgins got the name Aunt Claudette. In her angry video-letter to "the owners of that TV program called the Grammys that I watched last night," -- her most-viewed video -- she lays into the music awards for overlooking her great-nephew for the 2011 Best New Artist Grammy, which went to Esperanza Spalding.

See also: Justin Bieber Does Not Eat Poop

"To think that they would take the Grammy away from my, away from Justin, and give it to this gal who plays a fiddle is a crime," Higgins says, clearly overcome with emotion.

We can't get enough of Higgins' videos, so we put a bunch of them on page 2.

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