Friday, September 19, 2014

This St. Joseph Mall Commercial is So Terrible You'll Never Shop Anywhere Else

Posted By on Fri, Sep 19, 2014 at 7:00 AM

click to enlarge Denim! - YOUTUBE

Need a backpack? Haircuts? A new outfit? We know exactly where you should go.

East Hills Shopping Center released a commercial that is perfectly, wonderfully, exquisitely terrible -- and we're not the only ones who think so.

In the viral video promoting back-to-school specials, mall employees hawk their wares in nervously sing-song voices into an old-timey microphone over an anxious beatbox beat, resulting in an emotionally satisfying and extremely awkward thirty seconds.

The best part has to be the ending, where the only person with a modicum of singing training gets a completely unnecessary (but still enjoyable) callback.

See also: Aunt Claudette Exposes Target's Hatred for Fat People, Is a National Treasure

People love this commercial so much that one YouTube user made a looping video of "East Hill's Backpack Girl" that's three-times longer than the commercial itself.

The Houston Astros tried to do a parody of the commercial. Spoiler alert: It's not as good.

And we're not buying the rumors that Rhett & Link, known for their fake local ads, are behind the video. This is pure St. Joseph talent, through and through.

Thank you, East Hills. Now come get your backpacks.

Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at

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