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Friday, October 3, 2014

Eight Things St. Louis Is Sorry for According to Mayor Slay's Weird Defense of the Cardinals

Posted By on Fri, Oct 3, 2014 at 10:06 AM

click to enlarge Don't worry Cardinals fans, Mayor Slay has your back! - STEVE TRUESDELL FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Steve Truesdell for Riverfront Times
  • Don't worry Cardinals fans, Mayor Slay has your back!

Must be October. Why? Because as Daily RFT observed earlier this week, everyone is ragging on the St. Louis Cardinals -- including the Wall Street Journal, which on Tuesday published a "hateability index" that ranked the Redbirds as the most despised team in this year's playoffs.

Enter now Mayor Francis Slay, who is not going to let the Journal -- or anyone else for that matter -- besmirch the Cardinals. In a response published yesterday on the Wall Street Journal's website, Slay donned both his Cardinals and his chamber of commerce caps in a bizarre apology/defense of his city and its team.

Here they are, and we're not making these up. Cross-reference them with Slay's WSJ article if you'd like.

1. Slay is sorry New York and San Francisco are more expensive (a.k.a., desirable) places to live in than St. Louis. [Sure the skyline below is breathtaking, but Slay will have you know that so, too, is the rent.]

2. He's sorry St. Louis produces some fine batteries in Energizer.

click to enlarge energizer.jpg

3. Slay is sorry that our financial-service market is growing while other cities have lost jobs in that industry.

4. He's sorry Jon Hamm is so damn charming.

charmingham.jpg

5. He's sorry that other cities don't have as robust a Bosnian community.

JON GITCHOFF FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Jon Gitchoff for Riverfront Times

6. He's sorry Forest Park is so lovely.

CAROLINE YOO FOR RIVERFRONT TIMES
  • Caroline Yoo for Riverfront Times

7. He's sorry that St. Louis is home to 1.8 percent of the Fortune 1000 companies.

click to enlarge monsanto_entrance.jpg

8. And, finally, he's sorry iced tea was invented in St. Louis at the 1904 World's Fair. [What the everloving fuck does this man have against tea!?]

We get that the mayor was trying to highlight some things the American population may not know about St. Louis, but couldn't he have come up with better reasons/excuses than these?


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