Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Missouri Department of Conservation Issues Zombie Alert, Starts Survival Skills Class

Posted By on Tue, Oct 14, 2014 at 7:00 AM

Missouri's Department of Conservation wants to prepare you for the zombie invasion. - JON GITCHOFF
  • Jon Gitchoff
  • Missouri's Department of Conservation wants to prepare you for the zombie invasion.

Just in time for Halloween, Missouri's outdoor experts are educating the public on the latest invasive species "threat": zombies.

In a newly released, impressively detailed survival guide, the Missouri Department of Conservation offers tips for escaping swarms of the living dead, protecting dogs from zombie attacks and choosing effective zombie-fighting weapons.

The conservation department is even offering a hands-on course, called "Survival Skills 101: Zombies!," on how to survive an unplanned night outdoors in zombie-infested terrain (or in this case, 3,000 acres of forest in St. Charles).

See also: So You Wanna Be a Zombie? One day at Ghoul School

"Hunters, campers and others in the outdoors and on conservation areas should know there is always the chance they may encounter a zombie while out in the field," the conservation department writes in its zombie guide. Experts offer a guide to identifying a zombie: Does the thing in front you you have a gray-green, dull skin tone? Does it have open wounds or missing limbs? And, perhaps most importantly, is it trying to eat you?

Here are a few helpful hints for surviving the undead, from the MDC:

- Avoid cauliflower fields, says the conservation department. "Since cauliflowers appear brain-like, they often lure zombies."

- Use a tree stand to defend yourself against zombies. Hunters typically use tree stands to position themselves above their prey and blend in, but in a zombie apocalypse, tree stands have a whole new strategic use. "Falling from a tree stand can injure you or make you dead. Falling from a tree stand into the gaping maw of a zombie can make you undead."

- A severed zombie head still bites. To get rid of zombies, the conservation department suggests controlled fires as an effective, if slower, weapon. "Complete incineration or explosion of the zombie is necessary to prevent further animation."

Want to learn how to survive a night outdoors (with or without a zombie attack)? "Survival Skills 101: Zombies!" will run from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. on Friday, October 24, in the August A. Memorial Busch Conservation Area in St. Charles. The program is free and open to anyone older than thirteen.

Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at Lindsay.Toler@RiverfrontTimes.com.

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