Monday, March 2, 2015

25 Sentences St. Louisans Have Never Said

Posted By on Mon, Mar 2, 2015 at 6:00 AM

click to enlarge "Wait, which arch?" said no St. Louisan, ever. - NATIONAL PARKS SERVICE

Sometimes it's hard to explain to St. Louis to a non-St. Louisan. Outsiders struggle to understand why we're naturally drawn to A-B products, why we have fond memories of 1904, why our favorite pizza looks more like pizza-flavored nachos and why we're so curious about where everyone went to high school.

So rather than explain what St. Louis is, Daily RFT thought we'd take a stab at explaining what St. Louis isn't.

See also: 13 Words That Have A Different Meaning in St. Louis

Here are 25 sentences we're pretty sure no one in St. Louis has ever said, ever:

Shouldn't they call it "fried ravioli"?

Nelly? Never heard of her.

Riding a tiny oompa-loompa car to the top of the Gateway Arch feels totally safe and normal.

A Budweiser Clydesdale is just like any other horse.

Stan is not the man.

My taxi is here on time!

Nah, you don't need a car to live here.

My Ted Drewes fell out of its cup!

Provel isn't even real cheese.

I don't care where you went to high school.

If it can't be the Cardinals, I'd love to see the Cubs take the World Series.

Anyone down for a late-night drive through north city?

I can't find any cheap places to get drunk.

I really prefer deep-dish pizza.

I moved here for the views.

Gooey butter cake is too buttery.

That's one rich, sophisticated hoosier.

Crown Candy Kitchen isn't worth the long line.

Stan Kroenke was the best thing that ever happened to this town.

Who is Jon Hamm?

Going to the zoo is too expensive.

The Edward Jones Dome is a beautiful and comfortable place to watch football.

Who is Gus, and why should I eat his pretzels?

The city and the county are basically the same thing.

Let's go to the Arch again.

Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at Lindsay.Toler@RiverfrontTimes.com.

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