It is a truth universally acknowledged that if you see a motorist committing acts so willfully boneheaded that they shake your faith in the basic decency of humanity, you are probably driving in St. Louis
But we submit to you, dear reader, that no one has ever driven more St. Louis-y
than the hooligan who was spotted driving in full goddamn reverse
during a busy morning commute last Friday along Kingshighway Boulevard in north city, near the intersection with Lee Avenue.
As captured in the video below, the car — which appears to be a Pontiac Grand Am or Grand Prix — manages to roll through an intersection, stay in its lane and even keep a seemingly safe distance from a school bus, all while moving backwards.
It's enough to make the man behind the camera remark, "Only in St. Louis."
See also: 14 Reasons St. Louis Drivers are the Absolute Worst
The leisurely ease with which the Pontiac violates all laws of the road is nothing short of dumbfounding. In fact, we can't help but wonder: Is this the worst driver in the world, or the best?
Posted to Facebook on Friday, the video has garnered more than 4,000 shares and racked up 300,000 views. (We reached out Monday to the Facebook user who uploaded the clip; we'll update the story if we hear back.)
The video provides few clues to the reason for this backwards trajectory. The man shooting the video, understandably astonished, muses that perhaps the Pontiac's transmission is to blame. But who knows? Is the Pontiac's fearless driver fulfilling a bet? Or maybe the driver is trying to hide the mileage of an unauthorized joy ride in a much more dangerous version of the Ferris Bueller gambit
Only in St. Louis indeed. And while it should go without saying, we'll say it again: Please don't drive like this. It's hard enough on the roadways around here as it is.
Follow Danny Wicentowski on Twitter at @D_Towski. E-mail the author at [email protected]