Join Riverfront Times Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Thursday, March 8, 2018

Facing a Felony, Eric Greitens Releases the Photos (of Himself Cuddling a Baby Bear)

Posted By on Thu, Mar 8, 2018 at 10:12 AM

click to enlarge VIA FACEBOOK
  • VIA FACEBOOK
On his social media page, Eric Greitens is just a governor doing regular governor things. He's talking about veterans. He's visiting a tornado-ravaged town. And he's forcing a cute brunette into a photo shoot.

A bear, that is. We're talking about an adorable baby Black Bear here, folks. Don't let George Soros tell you anything different, because there's nothing amiss here. Our handsome Missouri governor merely had a charming encounter with said bear and subsequently "transmitted the image contained in the photograph in a manner that allowed access to that image via a computer."



What? What. Does that sound like something you'd read in an indictment? Please, stop overthinking this. This is about the bear.

click to enlarge VIA FACEBOOK
  • VIA FACEBOOK
click to enlarge VIA FACEBOOK
  • VIA FACEBOOK
click to enlarge VIA FACEBOOK
  • VIA FACEBOOK
AHHHHHHHH just look at those little paws! That tiny snout! You just want to take that cutie to the cave where you store all your spare blindfolds and a veritable team of high-priced lawyers specializing in criminal defense. Who among us could resist doing the same?

In a Facebook post he shared Monday afternoon, Greitens enthused about the work of the state's Black Bear Project, which tracks the movements and reproduction patterns of Ursus americanus in Missouri.

"To govern well, you can’t be behind a desk all day," writes Greitens, who may or may not check beneath his desk each day for liberal reporters fabricating stories about his campaign's secret use of a nonprofit's email list to contact potential donors.

"You have to be out with the people you represent," Greitens continues, "and the workers on the front lines serving Missourians. So, that’s what we’ve been doing."


In related news, sources indicate the baby bear is being represented by Al Watkins.

Follow Danny Wicentowski on Twitter at @D_Towski. E-mail the author at Danny.Wicentowski@RiverfrontTimes.com

  • Sign up for our weekly newsletters to get the latest on the news, things to do and places to eat delivered right to your inbox.
  • Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

September 9, 2020

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2020 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation