Friday, May 25, 2018

STL County Police Delete Tweet Advising 'Don't Drive Sober,' But We're Already Drunk

Posted By on Fri, May 25, 2018 at 11:38 AM

click to enlarge Us in three hours, probably. Thanks, St. Louis County Police. - FLICKR/JASONPARIS
  • Us in three hours, probably. Thanks, St. Louis County Police.

It's Memorial Day weekend, and you know what that means — it's time to buckle up, burn rubber and turn that open road into America's largest open bar.

After decades of tired drunk-driving lessons about how guzzling fortified wine while swinging an RV across a highway is, like, totally bad and shit, the St. Louis County Police appears to be trading in its uniforms for Hawaiian shirts and its guns for cocktail stirrers.

That's right — by decree of the department's Twitter account, drunk driving is back on the menu. Cheers!


Lest you think we're making this up, notice that the tweet is accompanied by a meme from seminal 2003 coming-of-age film Freaky Friday, a story about a high school girl who switches bodies with her mom and then goes on a cross-country adventure with a talking Franzia Box and a snarky quart of Tequila. It's based on a true story.

Here at RFT we have the utmost respect for police. Naturally, we took the directive seriously, and immediately — literally as soon as we saw the tweet — got to drinking in preparation for our drive home.

Alas, the tweet has since disappeared, indicating either impending alcohol hallucinations or, perhaps, that it was the police department's social media team that started drinking early. Sigh. It was fun while it lasted. (Now, can anyone give us a ride back to south city?)

See also: Epic DUI Arrest Ends with Driver Telling Cop She Wants Him to Crash and Die
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