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Our Lady Of Guadalupe Watches Over Guacamole on South Grand

Jaime Lees Sep 5, 2018 6:02 AM
photo by Doyle Murphy
The Virgin Mole

Hail Mary, full of… guac? It would appear that while God might have abandoned us, the Blessed Mother still has many worldly concerns, like burritos. And tacos. And quesadillas.

Just yesterday the Queen of Heaven was witnessed looking over the parking lot behind Qdoba (3100 South Grand Avenue, 314-772-7200). But why did our Mother Most Chaste settle here? Well, we think she must've found a place that felt like su casa.

Think about it: Just like Mary, nobody knows how avocados got that seed in them. And just like Jesus, avocados are beautiful and have flesh that you can eat.


Our sources tell us that the Virgin Mole found temporary shelter yesterday afternoon in the manger that is neighboring Clarkson Eyecare, with Rachel Witt, the executive director of the South Grand Community Improvement District, urging she be given a roof overhead in case someone comes looking for their missing Mary. But if she ends up outside again, everybody make sure to keep a close watch on her — if she starts weeping sriracha, we’re going to have this parking lot declared a holy site.

In any case, we thank her for the abundance of tortillas available at Qdoba and bless her in the name of the frijoles, the salsa and the holy sofrito. Amen.

photo by Doyle Murphy
Full of grace. (And Queso Chihuahua.)

Email the author at jaime.lees@riverfronttimes.com