Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Totally Innocent, Not-Creepy 'Night Prowler' Van For Sale Near St. Louis

Posted By on Tue, Jan 15, 2019 at 12:27 PM


Facebook Marketplace isn’t just the place to go for ugly antiques, lumpy couches, haunted dolls and gently-barfed-on car seats. It’s also our first stop for out-there things like this awesome AC/DC-inspired van that is definitely not creepy at all.

If you’re in need of a van that certainly does not look like it's desperate to be involved in some criminal activity, look to this post on Facebook advertising a 1974 Ford van labeled “Night Prowler” on its side in Misfits font.

Just think about the possibilities: Everyone will be so impressed with your new ride that they’ll park far, far away from you, not wanting to crowd such a stunning specimen of vehicular beauty. All eyes will certainly be on you as your many fans wonder how you managed to acquire such a breathtaking automobile and what, exactly, you do with it.

This wholesome vehicle with authentic patina is said to have a mere 999,999 miles on the odometer, making it a steal at only $2,400.

In the description, the seller says this diamond-windowed looker can be yours with the right trade item, too:

“Trade for ???
Be the envy of the local law enforcement and the neighborhood
Night Prowler”

While it’s nice that he points out that you’ll get lots of attention from local law enforcement (who doesn’t want that?), he does not specify which trade items will be considered. Maybe the entire Boston catalog on 8-Trak? A fat stack of Penthouse magazines (up to 1986)? Two handfuls of Quaaludes? A brick of ditch weed?

Really, this hot item is worth whatever totally not-creepy thing you have to do or trade to get it. Though you’ll want to kick the tires first, of course. One must always be careful with online transactions. It’s probably best to check it out in person in St. Clair, Missouri. Maybe climb in the back, shut the door and just see how it vibes.

What’s the worst that could happen?


Email the author at jaime.lees@riverfronttimes.com
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