1987 World Series: There's No Place Like Home (1987) 

Phyllis remembers a kinder, gentler Series

The 1987 World Series was unique for a couple of reasons: 1) it marked the first World Series in which the home team prevailed in every game, and 2) it was the last time the Cardinals made it to the dance prior to last year's four-game meltdown at the hands of the long-hapless Red Sox and, presumably, God (as portrayed by George Herman Ruth).

The rival Minnesota Twins' lineup was stacked with the likes of Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, Tom Brunansky and Gary Gaetti. The Cardinals, meanwhile, were missing their two biggest sticks -- Jack Clark and Terry Pendleton -- owing to injury. (Pendleton gutted out a few pinch-hit appearances but was worthlessly hobbled otherwise.) The Twinkies also had a better one-two punch on the hill, in the form of Frank "Sweet Tunes" Viola and Bert Blyleven, who'd be enshrined in Cooperstown were it not for the Hall's pervasive anti-Dutch sentiment.

Combine these factors with the tragic monstrosity that is the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome and the Twins should have rolled the Cardinals in, like, five games. But thanks to the heroics of a trio of season-long pine riders -- Tom Lawless, Curt Ford and Steve Lake -- the Cards took the Series the distance, only to come up a few runs short.

Oh yeah, the movie. Actually, this isn't a movie; it's an hour-long highlight reel narrated by Al Michaels and scored by the guy who programs the music in the service elevator at the Laclede Gas building. Tim "Captain Obvious" McCarver makes a couple of appearances as a color commentator, pitcher Danny Cox's porn moustache is better suited for leather chaps and Madonna's rhinestone-studded cowboy hat than the Redbirds' road blues, and second baseman Tommy Herr looks as though he must have been separated at birth from Patrick Swayze. Yes, the Patrick Swayze.

Each week the author treks to the Schlafly branch of the St. Louis Public Library, where a staff member blindfolds him and escorts him to the movie shelves. After selecting a film at random, Seely checks it out and reviews it.

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