Good people of St. Louis, visitors from far and wide, we bring you a show like none you have ever seen before. Why, just inside these pages, right here at your fingertips, reside tales of the vilest villains, the bravest heroes and sights and sounds you will find nowhere else in all the land.

Step closer and peer inside. On the main stage — for the low, low price of absolutely free — we bring you the caged criminal, the corrupt cussing crook of Clayton Steve Stenger. Watch as this foul-mouthed fiend of the ages reveals himself in his full, monstrous form right before your eyes. You'll be shocked and amazed.

But that's not all, folks! Oh no, here in this very guide you will find the most delicious, delectable, decadent treats you could ever imagine. Discover the tastiest, most exotic foods — the char-blistered pides of Balkan Treat Box, hand-pulled noodles from Corner 17 and fire-roasted hogs from BEAST Craft BBQ Co. Exotic elixirs await from skilled sorcerers at the Gin Room and young guns at Yellowbelly.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! This opportunity won't last forever. Meet the illuminated king of the Loop Trolley, descend into the depths of the Sinkhole and marvel at the light show of the Grand Hall at Union Station. There is truly something for everyone, and it is all right here for you.

Friends, you have seen the pretenders and the impostors, the fakes and phonies. But this is a circus like no other. This is the Best of St. Louis.

Welcome to the show!