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Art Theory 

The world according to Art Chantry

1. "The best music posters are meaningless."

2. "Grunge wasn't a musical style; it was a marketing term."

2a. The Mudhoney Corollary: "Grunge existed for one song only. The first time I heard 'Touch Me I'm Sick' on the radio, I had to pull the car over. Grunge lasted for the length of that song, and then it was over. Never happened again."

3. "Middle-class bands [e.g., Soundgarden] don't develop drug problems when they attain fame, because they're used to having money; poor kids [e.g., Layne Staley and Kurt Cobain] embrace drugs when they get famous because they have no idea what to do with money. Raging heroin addictions ensue."

4. "I don't wear T-shirts, because I don't wear anyone's advertising."

5. "St. Louis is ripe for the same sort of gentrification that culturally gutted Seattle. St. Louis' impressive level of political corruption will keep the yuppies from taking over the city, though, because there's easier pickin's elsewhere."

6. "Kurdt Vanderhoof [guitarist for Metal Church] is really the godfather of grunge. It was his impressive record collection that King Buzzo taped, and Buzz's tape then made the circuit of underground Seattle/Aberdeen/ Tacoma bands. Ergo, no Kurdt Vanderhoof, no grunge."

7. "The left wing needs to find some way to reclaim the American flag."

8. "The New Times publishing corporation is kind of the evil empire of alternative weeklies." [How much more proof do we need that the mutation is complete and Art is now an official St. Louisan?]

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