Join Riverfront Times Press Club. Because No News is Bad News.

Ask a Mexican: Why do Mexicans prefer dogs to cats? 

Dear Mexican: So there I was, sitting in Spanish class, like the good half-frog/half wop (i.e., "frop") that I am, when I observe the Spanish teacher write the word "esposas" up on the board. Imagine my shock/horror when the teacher told us "esposas" has two meanings: "wives" and "handcuffs"! PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A COINCIDENCE!
Fropito from Laguna Hills

Dear Gabacho: On one hand, I can point to Latin — show that esposas is the feminine plural of esposo, which comes from the Latin sponsus (same root word for "spouse"), which comes from the Latin spondere, which means "to bind," and note that that's exactly what handcuffs do. And then I can carry the misogynistic theme and mention that wrists in Spanish translates as "muñecas," which also means "dolls," and that even the Real Academia Española doesn't know the etymology of the word, or why the two words mean the same thing. And I can conclude by decrying machismo in Mexicans, that it's so ingrained in our culture that it's even infested etymology. On the other hand, only a single guy would ever ask why "esposas" simultaneously means "handcuffs" and "wives."

Dear Mexican: Just wondering why do Mexicans love to eat shit? You can walk down the street in any Mexican city any day or night and the smell of frying intestines and so forth is overpowering. To anyone but a Mexican, this is a repulsive smell — it literally repulses, meaning that it calls up an instinct to get as far away from such smells as possible. But one sees such food-stands covered in Mexicans, like flies on shit. What gives here? Is shit, i.e., intestines, really a good food? Or what? What am I missing here?
The Only Living Fresa in Puebla York

Dear Pendejo: You're talking trash on tripas, which mankind has eaten in one form or another — sausage, dinuguan, chitlins, hamburger meat and in tacos — since your ancestors were wiping the culos of Olmec emperors. Fresas like you might sneer at tripas as pauper food, just like the elites of society all have through history, but whatever: that's at least one thing ustedes will never gentrify. Besides, you already took the real shit in our society by embracing Maná.

Dear Mexican: I'm a gringa with the star sign of Leo so I love cats, but I also love Mexican men. But here's the rub: Every Mexican I meet seems to be allergic to cats or just hates them. I can't deal with it. Am I just picking the wrong Mexicans or is there some kind of aversion to four-legged furries in the culture that I'm not privy to?
Sad Cat-Loving White Girl

Dear Gabacha: While consumer surveys show Mexicans do own cats (more so than African Americans or Asians, for that matter), Mexicans will always prefer dogs to gatos because we like their companionship and barking abilities — think of them as our ADT Alarm system. Besides, the only pussy Mexican men worry about ain't felines.

Ask the Mexican at be his fan on Facebook. follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or follow him on Instagram @gustavo_arellano!

Riverfront Times works for you, and your support is essential.

Our small but mighty local team works tirelessly to bring you high-quality, uncensored news and cultural coverage of St. Louis and beyond.

Unlike many newspapers, ours is free – and we'd like to keep it that way, because we believe, now more than ever, everyone deserves access to accurate, independent coverage of their community.

Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing pledge, your support helps keep St. Louis' true free press free.

Read the Digital Print Issue

September 9, 2020

View more issues


Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2020 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation