Car horns: They’re not just for registering your rage at the Joy FM drivers endangering your life on St. Louis’ roadways anymore. In 2020, as more traditional ways to celebrate a child’s birthday are deemed unsafe due to the likelihood of catching or spreading COVID-19, a far louder tradition has taken hold: a long parade of honking cars passing by said child’s front lawn. Though born of necessity, in some ways this approach is probably even more memorable for the wee ones — family gathering together to force them into a strange fire-extinguishing ritual while Uncle Todd drinks too much is just so 2019. In 2020, they get private parades that are loud as fuck, rattling the windows of all the neighboring houses and making sure anyone within a half-mile radius knows that A Child Was Born. What could be more fun than that? — Daniel Hill