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Pure Pleasure Adult Megacenter

There was a time when you thought that anybody who needed sex toys suffered from a severe lack of imagination. That was when you were in the middle of the Sahara Desert of dry spells and your imagination was pretty well developed because, hey, it was about all you had. But then you hooked up, fell in love, got married and, gradually, sex tumbled from the exalted status of sole subject of your most enthralling daydreams to just another couple-y activity, like arguing over laundry or contemplating the mortgage. Ho-hum. Lately it has begun to occur to you that sex toys might be necessary after all. So you hightail it up to the Pure Pleasure Adult Megacenter on North Broadway, which, you note happily, is situated on a completely deserted block so you will not be spotted by any of your ignorant still-single friends who foolishly believe that marriage is nothing more than a big ol' sex party. Inside, you discover a plethora of thingies to rub on and into your beloved, all of which are charmingly referred to (by signs on the wall!) as "Marital Aids." Looking at the dazzling array of butt plugs and vibrators, you begin to wonder if perhaps you were missing out on something by scorning all those sex toys for all these years. And then your eye wanders to the selection of board games. Sure, the erotic possibilities of Candyland and Twister had occurred to you before, but to think that somebody actually went ahead and manufactured them! Maybe you should check them out, just to see whose imagination is better. No, you will never sink that far. But that enormous video section, on the other hand....

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