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Sweetie Pie's

Robbie Montgomery's mac 'n' cheese is better than your mom's, but you don't have to tell Mom that. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, and this isn't even the first time you've cheated on her with your newfound sweetie pie, and it won't be the last. You tried to resist the allure of this affair, but you can't stop lining up for the best cafeteria-style buffet you've ever had in your life — impossibly, the same stuff former Ikette Robbie Montgomery cooked in an electric skillet set on top of a hotel-room dresser when she was touring with Ike and Tina Turner. But knowing Sweetie Pie's history just makes consummating your forbidden love more passionate. If your mom knew that a former celebrity was replacing her smothered pork chop's place in your heart, she'd be devastated. Just keep your watering crocodile mouth shut — and a Tide-to-Go instant stain remover handy for the telltale trace of Sweetie Pie's sugary yam sauce on your collar.

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