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Cardinals re-sign Schumaker, but why? 

This columnist has a piece of advice for anyone out there who has an athletic child. If your child has the choice of playing football or baseball, push him toward baseball. Always baseball. You say he could skate before he could walk and already has a 105-mph slapshot at age four. You need to put a stop to that right now and give the kid a bat.

Why? Because of Skip Schumaker.

Skip Schumaker has been one of the worst players in all of baseball the last two seasons. Over that span he has produced less than half a win in total value. And for those efforts, the St. Louis Cardinals rewarded him with a new two-year contract last week.

I just don't understand what possible reason the Cardinals could have for bringing Skip back. His defense at second base is awful. His defense in center field is hardly better. His defense in either outfield corner is average, which is to say good enough if he could hit. But, hey! Guess what else Skippy can't do. That's right, kids! He can't hit! He has no power, he isn't fast, he's never met a back-foot breaking ball he didn't want to swing at.

I suppose the Cardinals will spin him as a utility player, thanks to his versatility and ability to play multiple positions and all that. But Skip Schumaker adds nothing to the Cardinals. Yet here we are, staring down two more seasons of watching him hit grounder after grounder to the right side and dive into first base because it makes him look like he's really, really trying out there.

With Albert Pujols gone, the Cardinals' front office needs to be both smart and creative if they're going to find a way to keep the 2012 team from going the way of the 2007 team, the last defending champion we've had here in St. Louis. But instead of creative, we get one of the worst players in all of baseball coming back on a two-year deal. The Cards could really use Carlos Beltran's bat in the outfield, and they certainly have a little extra cash to spend. But noooo. We get our fifth outfielder spot locked up good and early so as not to miss out later when the rush begins on replacement-level players.

So, in conclusion, parents: Raise your babies to play baseball. Because someday, somewhere, some foolish GM with a pile of money and no idea what the "R" in WAR (wins above replacement) stands for just might pay your little one to provide, well, nothing.— Aaron Schafer


Nice to see the Pujols Dividend is being spent as wisely as the Peace Dividend. KittyLitterKing

Everyone at my office refers to Skippy as "two-hopper to second." Handsome Jimmy

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