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Summer in St. Louis: Have an Adventure 

Page 9 of 45

You choose to head to the zoo to stare at some animals.

The Saint Louis Zoo (Government Drive, 314-781-0900) doesn't charge admission, which leaves more money for a snow cone once you're there. You're enthralled by the sea lions' glassed-in underground tunnel, the riverwalk with the hippo display and the new grizzly bear exhibit. And while you may think they're joking when they tell you not to touch the penguins at the Penguin and Puffin Coast, they really are that close. You end up getting soaked by their splashing — but they're so cute, you don't even care.

"Can you believe this amazing zoo is free?" you enthuse to no one in particular.

But you've failed to spot the TV reporter lurking just behind the penguin exit, seeking interviews for his latest segment. "People say the zoo is free, but property taxes mean you're actually contributing $22 million a year to its upkeep," the man solemnly intones, then shoves a microphone in your face. "You paid for it. What do you say to that?"

"Fuck off, Elliott Davis," you snap. Drenched with penguin water and sticky from your snow cone, you definitely weren't ready for that closeup! "Let the whole city go to shit. Without a free zoo, would this really be St. Louis?"

Time to shove off, but where to next?

A heart-stopping BLT and a ton of chocolate will surely fill the void. If you choose to head to Crown Candy Kitchen for lunch, turn to page 17.

A burger sounds tasty! If you choose to get some food at Mac's Local Eats, turn to page 21.

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August 12, 2020

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