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When the Internet finally attains sentience, it's going to use Everything Is Terrible as its Delphic oracle. The little website than could (and does) catalog the worst of public-access talk shows, made-for-TV movies, infomercials and direct-to-video brainburners reflects the worst elements of the latter half of the twentieth century, and also reveals the truth of our almost-entirely wired world. If no moment, regardless of its inanity, is ever going to fade to obscurity, then everything that is terrible and stupid will exist in perpetuity; the dross becomes the gold and the gold is worthless. We are simultaneously bound by history and freed from it through the apotheosis of the fever dreams of the '80s. The Everything Is Terrible crew is touring with its new DVD, 2 Everything 2 Terrible 2: Tokyo Drift, which promises more of the same WTF moments writ large. They visit Antarctica (5526 Gravois Avenue; www.everythingisterrible.com) at 10 p.m. this evening for a screening of the new film and an attempt to set a new world record for shade tippin' (people ironically looking over the tops of sun-glasses a la David Caruso, or every teen movie poster in the '80s). Admission is $10; BYO shades.
Fri., July 2, 2010

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Speaking of Highlights, David Caruso

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