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Hills People From the St. Louis Area Will Die On [PHOTOS]

By on Sat, Apr 16, 2022 at 12:04 am

There are a few things we, as humans, cannot accept: Pineapple does not go on pizza, you pour milk after the cereal, and so on and so forth. But there are some things that only St. Louis would go to war for. Remember the time the entire nation thought we were weird for breadslicing our bagels? Or just recently, when the rest of the United States found out about provel cheese? We faced these debates with our eyes on the prize, and we still haven't been proven wrong.

Here are some hills that St. Louisans will die on (because we're right and they're wrong.) 
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People who live in St. Charles are not "from St. Louis." Nor are those who live in Illinois. Quit frontin'.
Flickr / @pasa
People who live in St. Charles are not "from St. Louis." Nor are those who live in Illinois. Quit frontin'.
It’s Bread Co., not Panera.
Flickr / Mike Mozart
It’s Bread Co., not Panera.
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Pizza should be as flat and thin as the corrugated cardboard the box it came in is made of.
Flickr / @prettywar-stl
Pizza should be as flat and thin as the corrugated cardboard the box it came in is made of.
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Tornado alarms are merely suggestions; it is fine to stand outside and watch the storm. (Note: reasonable likelihood of actual death on this one.)
Flickr / Anthony
Tornado alarms are merely suggestions; it is fine to stand outside and watch the storm.

(Note: reasonable likelihood of actual death on this one.)
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The Cardinals have the best fans in baseball.
Reuben Hemmer
The Cardinals have the best fans in baseball.
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Ravioli is meant to be fried; you must then bewilderingly insist on referring to it as "toasted."
Vu Phong
Ravioli is meant to be fried; you must then bewilderingly insist on referring to it as "toasted."
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Zoos should be free. Zoos that are not free are inferior.
Steve Truesdell
Zoos should be free. Zoos that are not free are inferior.
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Dogtown is actually Ireland.
Theo Welling
Dogtown is actually Ireland.
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The number 3.14 is way less of a big deal than 314.
Courtesy Amy Burger
The number 3.14 is way less of a big deal than 314.
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The City Museum is the No.1 spot everyone should see when they visit St. Louis.
SCREENSHOT VIA YOUTUBE
The City Museum is the No.1 spot everyone should see when they visit St. Louis.
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It's not the heat, it's the humidity. But it's also the fuckin' heat.
Flickr / @pagent
It's not the heat, it's the humidity. But it's also the fuckin' heat.
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Stop signs are optional.
kariatx via morgueFile
Stop signs are optional.
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Temp tags are the same as permanent license plates.
Flickr / @pasa
Temp tags are the same as permanent license plates.
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"Yogi" refers to a baseball player, not a cartoon bear. And don't get us started on "poo-holes."
Photo courtesy of Flickr / Phil
"Yogi" refers to a baseball player, not a cartoon bear. And don't get us started on "poo-holes."
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Stan Kroenke is a bald asshole.
Peter Powell/EPA/Newscom
Stan Kroenke is a bald asshole.
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Breadslicing a bagel is the proper way to do it and not weird at all.
Daniel Hill
Breadslicing a bagel is the proper way to do it and not weird at all.
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Provel cheese is, in fact, a cheese and a pretty great one at that.

Photo courtesy of brendanotto / Instagram
Provel cheese is, in fact, a cheese and a pretty great one at that.
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Tampa Bay Vipers fans poop standing up, and the only reason the XFL went under is so their team could avoid being destroyed by the mighty Battlehawks.
Trenton Almgren-Davis
Tampa Bay Vipers fans poop standing up, and the only reason the XFL went under is so their team could avoid being destroyed by the mighty Battlehawks.
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We bet we could swim across the Mississippi if we really tried. (Do not try this, you will literally, actually die.)
Danny Wicentowski
We bet we could swim across the Mississippi if we really tried.

(Do not try this, you will literally, actually die.)
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French toast, or at least its ingredients, are the most important survival tools to have on hand in the case of inclement weather.
image via
French toast, or at least its ingredients, are the most important survival tools to have on hand in the case of inclement weather.
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