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Leche Good Times Roll 

The Shake Stuff Up Tour will have everyone asking, "Got Milk?"

Milk has a lot in common with gasoline. Milk is liquid fuel for the body, while gas is liquid fuel for our cars. Both milk and gas prices are expected to skyrocket this summer. You can purchase either fluid at a QT. But you know what you can do with an ice-cold glass of milk that you just can't do with a barrel of Middle Eastern petroleum? Celebrate it this weekend at St. Louis Mills!

The "Got Milk?" Shake Stuff Up Tour -- a slickly packaged promo campaign that encourages adolescents to consume more milk via marketspeak and bandwagon-persuasion tactics -- will roll into the ESPN X-Games Skate Park, one of the "shoppertainment" facilities of the St. Louis Mills (5555 St. Louis Mills Boulevard), this Sunday, May 23, from 3 to 7 p.m. While sending home the message that nine out of ten teenage girls and seven out of ten teenage boys aren't getting the calcium they need, Shake Stuff Up will also distract the hell out of the kids' malleable little minds with myriad reality show-like contests.

For example, a "Shake it with Milk and MTV" dance sweepstakes (think The Grind, or Dance Fever if you're old like we are) promises that one lucky booty-shaker in the nation will win a trip to the 2005 MTV Summer Beach House. Or try out for the Rolling Stone Roadie Photo Contest, and your snapshot may land your mug in a "Got Milk?" ad to be featured in the once-hallowed pages of RS (very America's Next Top Model). And a Battle of the Bands contest (i.e., VH1's Bands on the Run) beginning at 6 p.m. encourages garage bands to get out of the garage and into the mall, in the hopes that one may win valuable recording time to lay down its three-chord ditties for posterity's sake.

All events are free; for more info on the contests, visit -- and milk your meager musical/dancing/modeling talents for all they're worth.

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