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Morrissey and Agnostic Front go toe-to-toe 

As luck would have it, both beloved bedsit bard Morrissey and New York hardcore mooks Agnostic Front will be in town Wednesday, April 8. Alas, because no imaginative booking agent thought to put them on the same bill, St. Louisans have a choice to make.

And it's not as easy as it might seem at first. Both parties did their best work during the Reagan administration; both have been unfairly accused of harboring racist sympathies; and both have featured shirtless men on their album covers. Both seem obsessed with being hated, whether for loving or for their combat boots and shaved heads. Believe it or not, both also have unexpectedly huge Hispanic followings, with Morrissey worshipped as a demigod by a subset of Mexican greasers, and Agnostic Front packing arenas in South America. Funny how globalization works, huh?

For those grappling with the question of how to spend your precious time and money, we've taken a hard look at the candidates, examined their stances on the issues and thrown together this utterly unenlightening quiz.

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