In a time when kids have to use car seats until they're nearly fourteen and whole cities have outlawed trans fats, it's astonishing that laws aren't currently in place to require wearing protective headgear on pub crawls. Like football games, pub crawls often involve whistles, girls in tiny outfits and falling down, so helmets would be logical accoutrements. So perhaps it's for reasons of safety and flair that the organizers of Fuel's annual Mad Hatter's Pub Crawl insist that participants don goofy hats all day. Registered crawlers meet at Pat's Bar & Grill (6400 Oakland Avenue; 314-647-6553) at 10:30 a.m. for breakfast, then board a chartered bus and enjoy bloody marys during the journey to some of the Metro East's best bars, which tentatively include the Loading Dock, Kinders and Fast Eddie's. Tickets are $28; e-mail for more information.
Sat., March 31

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