Support Local Journalism. Join Riverfront Times Press Club.

To the Extreme! 

Last year Mr. Night and Ms. Day encountered the Segway and found it much to their liking. The two-wheeled, self-balancing wonder scooter of the future suits the Night & Day lifestyle perfectly. It's fun and kicky, it runs off an electric charge, and you'd pretty much have to be an idiot to fall off of it (insert link to George W. Bush's Segway-related mishap here). But there was one thing we found lacking in the mighty Segway. It's such a minor quibble that we hesitated even bringing it up last time, but now, we can avoid it no longer: The original Segway is a paved-road vehicle — and Mr. Night leads a life that our editor in chief has dubbed "off the beaten path." And despite her sophisticated and lovely outward appearance, Ms. Day also enjoys (and we quote) "four-wheelin' down Zombie Road."

We bad, son. Bad like the dropsy.

But now Segway has caught up to us. The new models are designed for the golf course (the Segway GT) and for off-roading (that would be the Segway XT). And the Saint Louis Science Center (5050 Oakland Avenue; 314-289-4400 or www.slsc.org) unveils these new editions at noon today during the free Lunch & Learn: The New Segway Models program. Ms. Day, your thoughts on the new Segway XT, vis-à-vis Zombie Road?

Ms. Day: Since it's hard to type while in a GMC Jimmy (whoo-hoo!), all Ms. Day can say is that if she gets her hands on one of these fancy new Segways, she'll be doing more than taking a visit to the smooth-sailin', pretty-grassed golf course, yessirree. She'll definitely want to see how that bad boy handles, and how it can take....

Uh-oh, it seems we've lost the connection with Day; hope the other "Hill" didn't live up to its name — those damned zombies seem to be everywhere these days!

Anywho, we want new off-roadin' Segways. With their fat, knobby tires and their ability to scoot twelve and a half miles per hour, the XTs are exactly what N&D Global Industries needs to keep the "global" in our name. Maybe when Village Voice Media buys us matching XTs, we'll become X-N&DGI. Need we point out that the "X" is for "X-treme," bee-yotch?
Thu., April 6

Support Local Journalism.
Join the Riverfront Times Press Club

Local journalism is information. Information is power. And we believe everyone deserves access to accurate independent coverage of their community and state. Our readers helped us continue this coverage in 2020, and we are so grateful for the support.

Help us keep this coverage going in 2021. Whether it's a one-time acknowledgement of this article or an ongoing membership pledge, your support goes to local-based reporting from our small but mighty team.

Join the Riverfront Times Club for as little as $5 a month.

Latest in Night & Day

Read the Digital Print Issue

June 16, 2021

View more issues

Newsletters

Never miss a beat

Sign Up Now

Subscribe now to get the latest news delivered right to your inbox.

Best Things to Do In St. Louis

© 2021 Riverfront Times

Website powered by Foundation