Everyone relax, the Girl Scouts have a new cookie flavor. …ok, maybe I can’t relax, because the GIRL SCOUTS have a NEW COOKIE FLAVOR. This may not solve all of my problems, but I’m sure as hell going to feel better about dealing with them while I’m munching on this new little slice of female-entrepreneurial-fueled deliciousness.
One doesn’t simply discuss Girl Scout cookies without making sure the audience knows a thing or two about this organization, so here we go. The Girl Scouts have the longevity to know that they’re good at what they do. They were founded in 1912 and had their first cookie sale in 1917, so they’ve been at the cookie hustle longer than you’ve been alive. The Girl Scouts have a proven track record of being very good at this, because they sell roughly 200 million boxes per year. Girl Scout cookies aren’t just a tasty snack that you hide in a tampon box in the bathroom so that no one steals your Tagalongs. It’s a whole seasonal event. A personality test. A form of currency that will convince your stinky older brother to let you meet his soccer teammates without scowling.
We’re still months away from cookie season, so let’s indulge in a little light torture by thinking about delicious things we can’t have. Here are the historic favorites of the Girl Scout cookie fandom:
Thin Mints: These bad boys outsell Oreos every year, and they’re only available for a brief window. America’s favorite cookie? I think not.
Samoas/Caramel deLites: Imagine if toasted coconut, melted chocolate, and a wafer somehow had a baby. A delicious, delicious baby.
Tagalongs/Peanut Butter Patties: Listen. Chocolate and peanut butter together are practically a pillar of my religion. I’ve punched my brothers for swiping my last box without asking, and I still don’t regret it.
Trefoils: They initially look dull and unexciting, but I challenge you to tell me you don’t enjoy a classic shortbread cookie. Especially with a strong cup of coffee.
Lemonups:… they exist. And we respect their right to do so, especially when each one has an empowering message for the person eating it.
My indifference toward Lemonups aside, the Girl Scouts rarely introduce a new cookie that isn’t a total banger. The new kid on the block promises to be another winner. Introducing *drumroll* the Exploremores! The new cookie is a chocolate wafer sandwich with a chocolate-marshmallow-almond crème filling. The entire shebang was inspired by rocky road ice cream and is only available for limited release in the 2026 cookie season. Yes, I will be hopping from hardware store to hardware store in my town to make sure I’m one of the lucky ones.
There are two new retirees from the Girl Scout cookie roster. Girl Scout S’mores and Toast-Yay! are officially collecting their cookie social security and have gone on to… wherever it is Girl Scout cookies go when they retire. If you find yourself feeling some feelings about that… well, you’re not alone. Girl Scout cookies are more than just snacks. They’re memories tied to a taste, and the people who purchase access to those memories? Their money goes toward leadership programs, camps, and STEM initiatives. All proceeds stay local, meaning that when you buy cookies from the Girl Scouts outside your local hardware store, you’re actually helping your community. Also making sure you have PMS cravings covered for the month, but mostly the helping-your-community thing.
So. If you find yourself feeling the weight of the world lately… we’ve got cookies coming, y’all. And they look like they’re gonna be fantastic. Exploremores drop in January, and given that they’re only doing a limited release, they’ll probably disappear faster than your intentions of hitting the gym four times a week come January 1. If you get the opportunity to stock up… call me. I need another box and will be prepared to beg.
