The Best, Worst and Most Interesting Bathrooms in St. Louis

CBGB

The one-room, two-toilet graffitied women's bathroom at CBGB (3163 South Grand Boulevard) is definitely on the more interesting side. You literally face another human while peeing. Like, just imagine looking over and making eye contact and nodding (because that's the Midwestern way) while taking a piss. And the best part is there's a wooden table placed between the two that the toilet paper sits on so the two parties can share. But to be frank, if we were drunk at CBGB's on a Saturday night we would 100 percent use this bathroom with our best friend and think it was the coolest shit we'd ever seen.

Lemp Mansion

The women's bathroom at Lemp Restaurant and Inn (3322 Demenil Place) is one for the ages. By this we simply mean that the bathroom fits the aesthetic of the 1860s, with an authentic bathroom setup and decor — minus the stalls. Two things that caught our attention 1) an actual bathtub in the bathroom — in the middle of the room, mind you; 2) the beautiful wood fireplace. The two-stall, burgundy bathroom feels grand with its high ceilings, chandelier and extra lighting, giant stained-glass windows, rich wood trim, marble and wall-to-wall carpet. Our favorite part is the fact the stall walls go all the way down to the floor and there's real doors on them giving you ultimate privacy while you're pretending to be doing your business in the 1800s.

21c Museum Hotel

The unisex lobby bathrooms at 21c Museum Hotel (1528 Locust Street) are where it's at. This spacious bathroom is so clean it's insane, but the real show stoppers are the oval mirrors giving the bathroom its own art piece and the natural lighting. The dark, wood-looking stalls are a nice contrast to the bright white walls and countertops. The gold handles, sink fixtures and soap dispensers as well as the paper towels atop a ceramic plate giving the bathroom a high-end feel.

Platypus

Stickers, stickers, stickers and more stickers is the only way to describe the bathroom at Platypus (4501 Manchester Avenue). There's even stickers inside the toilet. But even though this bathroom gives off a grungy, pop-punk vibe with its stickered wallpaper, it's still a super clean bathroom, especially compared to its counterparts in the Grove. Another major bonus about this bathroom is the fact that it's a full room giving you complete privacy to do as you please.

Hi-Pointe Theatre

Here at the RFT, we've spent time and ink lauding the urinals at the Hi-Pointe Theatre (1005 McCausland Avenue) before — in 1997's Best Of issue, specifically, wherein we dubbed them the finest in town, an accolade the establishment was evidently so proud of, they framed a copy, which hangs in the men's room to this day. But it bears repeating, because these bad boys are choice. Floor-length and deep enough to ward off the dreaded Splashback Effect, they're hemmed in by a tiled floor that slopes down gently at the base of each, preventing the pooling of a puddle of piss that comes standard with most inferior men's rooms. They are frankly a joy to utilize and make the customary post-movie restroom visit a delightful experience. Or, as writer Eddie Silva put it nearly 30 years ago, "Even after a large Coke and something long and venerable — a Merchant Ivory film, for instance — these receive your stream without a drop of return."

City Hall

The bathrooms on the main floor of City Hall (1200 Market Street) are not for the faint of heart. They're so hot and humid it feels like the middle of summer on a brisk winter/spring morning. Oh and the shit-stained toilets and gut-retching smell, which left one of our reporters on the verge of vomiting, are just an added bonus no one asked for. 0/10 would not recommend.

31art Gallery

These bathrooms have no business going this hard, even if they are at an art gallery. 31art Gallery’s (3520 Hampton Avenue) two bathrooms are a work of art — very suitable for the stunning, yet funky, art gallery. When we turned the corner, we weren’t sure what we were expecting, but we assure you, it wasn’t ancient Rome. Nevertheless, ancient Rome is what we got. The bathroom area is a selfie queen's dream complete with cool tone vibes, marble floors, antique doors and ceilings, a chandelier, Roman statues and several (and we mean several) mirrors. There are two private and very clean bathrooms that continue the same vibes and love for mirrors with one on every wall — but we’re not complaining.

Momo Coffee Champagne Kitchen

Momo’s (9500 Manchester Road, Rock Hill) bathrooms are simple, yet pleasing to the eye with soft green, Art Deco-styled wallpaper paired with elegant black and white marble. The funky mirrors and gold fixtures along with paper towels presented in little baskets give the space an elevated appearance. The stalls themselves are pretty generic but very clean with a pleasant scent throughout both bathrooms.

Bootleggin' Bob's

For anyone who is almost 6 feet tall, the bathrooms at Bootleggin' Bob's (3457 Morgan Ford Road) will have you screaming. They are so small! Though they are each their own little cubicle, your knees will almost touch the door. It's truly an open-and-sit situation. But here's the good part, you don't even have to get off the toilet to wash your hands. Plus, they might be small, but they were also pretty darn clean and had a nice fresh, floral smell to them.

360 Westport

When we tell you the women's bathroom at 360 Westport (111 West Port Plaza Drive, Maryland Heights) is fancy, we're not kidding. They are so nice and new — nothing like a newly built or remodeled bathroom not yet soiled by all you pissers. The dark, hunter green walls contrast to the wood-looking stalls and gold fixtures, creating an elegant atmosphere that matches the rest of the bar. But ladies, the true winner in this bathroom is the two LED mirrors making makeup touchups a breeze.

The Fox Theatre

The bathrooms at the Fox Theatre (527 North Grand Boulevard) are everything you want them to be — historic and classy. Though it's generally frowned upon to mosey through a theater mid-show to dispatch one's cargo, the bathrooms at the Fox are so nice as to demand it. Especially the bathrooms on the second floor — they're basically a show in themselves. On stage left, you have a generous line of clean stalls separated by a floor-to-floor wall. On stage right, a marble countertop with four sinks, where little stools await underneath — just in case walking your posh ass to the lou was too strenuous of a task.

HandleBar

The bathrooms at HandleBar (4127 Manchester Avenue) are some of the chillest dive bar bathrooms we’ve seen in a while. They are funky, yet clean. One set of bathrooms are two individual rooms with a vanity covered in different drawings of women separating them and also feature a mirror with Hollywood lighting and tiled walls with hearts. On the other side is a standard bathroom setup — but this side has a hot pink, intricate mirror hanging above the sink and a urinal (which is currently out of order, so watch your aim).

Planter’s House

The bathrooms at Planter’s House (1000 Mississippi Avenue) are just as stylish and charming as you'd want it to be. Dimly lit individual rooms offer full privacy, black and gold finishes and a table with a stylish pink orchid along with some bathroom essentials, including extra toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, lotion and Febreze. There's no excuse here not to cover up your foul emissions.

Blueberry Hill

We don't know how to explain it, but the bathrooms at Blueberry Hill (6504 Delmar Boulevard, University City) just give us pure Midwestern vibes — nothing fancy. And we don’t mean that in a bad way. They're a wholesome, average bathroom that you'd find at almost any diner, minus the word "HELL" carved into the stall. Now, we say they're not fancy, but they could use a little bit of a deep cleaning in our opinion. But we would definitely pee here again.

Broadway Oyster Bar

The OG bathrooms at Oyster Bar (736 South Broadway) are another interesting setup we came across on our bathroom excursion. There are three bathroom closets right next to each other in the main area of the restaurant. We didn’t use these bathrooms because we had anxiety that everyone could hear us peeing. The cool thing about these bathrooms, though, is the fact that they are covered in interesting tile designs from floor to ceiling. The new bathrooms on the other side of Oyster Bar, however, are extremely nice and spacious, with rumor having it that the men’s bathroom has a keg as a urinal.

The Novel Neighbor

Get bored while doing your business? The Novel Neighbor (7905 Big Bend Boulevard, Webster Groves) has you covered. Like literally, the bathroom is covered in pages from old, discarded books, just take your pick. Back in 2016, the Novel Neighbor's restroom was named one of the 10 best in the nation by Cintas. And for good reason too — it's fun, clean and private, what more could you ask for in a public bathroom?

Balkan Treat Box

Opening the doors to the bathrooms at the Balkan Treat Box (8103 Big Bend Boulevard, Webster Groves) is an experience. You're almost transported to another location or time in space due to the massive print on the wall. The one we opened presents a street view with people walking. (We honestly thought we opened the door to the outside for a second.) Other than the art, these are your standard cafe bathrooms, but going a little beyond with a nice, subtle gesture of a small bench in the corner for placing your items along with extra toilet paper.

The Mud House

This bathroom was as fun as we wanted it to be. Our inner child was thrilled to see all the board games being used as wallpaper in the bathroomat the Mud House (2101 Cherokee Street) — BYOGP (bring your own game pieces) type of vibe. Overall, the bathroom, though rather close to some tables for our liking, does provide plenty of privacy, cleanliness and Scrabble.

Venice Cafe

The famous tiled bathrooms at Venice Cafe (1903 Pestalozzi Street) are a must-see. Unfortunately, we weren't able to check out the acclaimed upstairs bathroom, but we did hit the two downstairs, and they were indeed works of art. The whole building is. The two downstairs bathrooms, accompanied by a koi pond, are tiled floor to ceiling, one with a massive eye and the other with a cool, shattered mirror design. Though on the smaller side, they offer plenty of privacy and space to get the job done.

Brennan’s

The bathrooms at Brennan’s (316 North Euclid Avenue) are understated, yet these clean, sophisticated rooms come with a hidden gem. One bathroom is full of random, funny quotes and the other (our personal favorite) is filled with celebrity yearbook photos. Nothing like peeing and spotting your celebrity crush’s high school photo (cough, cough Channing Tatum). The best surprise about this bathroom, though, comes after you shut the door. Placed perfectly on the back of the door is a blown-up photo of Drake (and we all know what he does in the bathroom).