The Twenty Best-Dressed Juggalos at the Gathering

Juggalo fashion generally involves great big pants and T-shirts that were possibly purchased at truck stops. Hair is best when it is braided and aloft in the style of Coolio, and everything looks better coated in a thin layer of sticky-delicious Faygo, of course.

But some juggalos go out of their way to trot out their hottest looks for the Gathering of the Juggalos, Here, then, are the twenty best-dressed juggalos at this year's big event.

Legendary wrestler Mick Foley came to the Gathering wearing a Hawaiian shirt, sweatpants, slippers and a fanny pack. During his comedy set, one juggalo heckled him about the latter of those items, and then Foley choke-slammed him off a 40-foot steel cage.*

*May not have actually happened.

This guy stood for an extended period of time, silent and on guard, right in the middle of a major pathway. His armor is not black, but I still completely expected a Monty Python-style "None Shall Pass" at any moment.

Why yes, we did include this guy, because DUH.

Pretty sure this is the Predator in clown paint. They don't allow weapons in the venue and therefore no one was adequately armed enough to be a worthwhile hunt, so luckily nobody had to be killed.

This woman actually bothered to wear pasties instead of (like most juggalettes here) just wandering around with nothing on top at all. Clearly this is a woman of sophistication.

This handsome fellow is sporting a Grateful Dead bear, a Crass logo, two anarchy symbols and a Rancid patch on his studded denim jacket. Add the facepaint to that and this man successfully represents basically every underground subculture, all at once.

I'm pretty sure this is one of those shitty government scientists from E.T., taking a break to hang out with his clown friends at the Whoopty Whoop Party in between enslaving and dissecting adorable aliens.

This and "I Am A Gang Member Not A Juggalo" were the best Gathering-themed T-shirts we saw on the grounds.

I'll be honest: This guy's gear looks good, but the main reason he is included is so that I have an excuse to publish a photo of a guy juggling a gigantic, floppy dildo.

This guy's dildo, in fact -- the one in the bathrobe. File under "Obi-Wang Kenobi."

It was cool of this Smoke Monster to make it out to the show. And he even wore a scary mask! How fun.

Story continues on the next page.

About The Author

Daniel Hill

Daniel Hill is editor at large for the Riverfront Times and he demands to be taken seriously, despite all evidence to the contrary. Follow him on Twitter at @rftmusic.
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