Huge Wiener Spotted in Uranus

A wiener pulled into Uranus this week.

Uranus Examiner, a small-town Missouri paper known for probing deep, reports that a wiener arrived in Uranus on Tuesday and parked near the fudge factory.

Look at the size of that wiener. We're surprised it fit.

Unfortunately, this wiener already visited St. Louis earlier this month, so if you're hankerin' for some hot dog, you'll have to get your fix through, uh, other ways...

But honestly, we're lucky this wiener is still around at all. Its smooth and sleek structure makes it at risk of slipping away. Add a flared base to that thing.

We're not the only ones who've had the same thought, apparently. A courteous, thoughtful, concerned — and we've heard, quite pleasant — citizen started a change.org petition to add a flared base to that wiener.

It's only the safe thing to do.

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