What Should Be Criminalized That Is Not Already Criminalized?

Week of November 24, 2004

Dave Jerneycic
Originator, Frozen-Turkey Shuffleboard
"The shameful act of chicken dancing. Maybe it's all right in a private establishment, but when you see people doing it on the street, it just brings us all down. It's a sign of social decline. In fact, the fall of Rome had nothing to do with the lead in the aqueducts -- it was chicken dancing."

Charles A. Smith
Bail Bondsman
"Using the name of the Lord to further your own selfish goals. [There are] quite a few out there that're pimpin' the Bible, and they'll very quickly quote the Scriptures in order to convince people that their cause is righteous and that it needs to be supported, when actually it's all about them. You fleece people in the name of the Lord -- yeah, that ought to be a crime."

Meagan Martorelli
Political Science Student, Webster University
"There should be a penalty on construction workers that stand around -- and I know some of them are hot, but so often they're filthy, and they have their shirts off, and I don't want to see that. Or neighbors. Every neighbor I've ever had loves to come out in these short shorts -- men and women, okay -- and do their grass or their gardening. That should be criminalized. I mean, c'mon, you have to know that I can see everything, and you're bending over, and it's not attractive."

Mike Franklin
Lead Guitarist, Mike Gunther and His Restless Souls
"Being held up by somebody who has to finish their cell-phone conversation. They get to the front of the line and avoid eye contact with the person behind the counter, and they stick the one finger up as to say, 'Hold on a second,' and they will continue the conversation until finally: 'Okay, gotta go. I'm in line right now.' And then they don't know what they want because they've spent so much time on the phone. They should be denied service."

Maggie Andel
Stylist, Regis Salon, Westfield Shoppingtown-West County
"I think there should be a law against children trick-or-treating with no costumes and no jokes, yet expecting candy and goodies. It upsets me. I spend a lot of money on the candy. I want a little something back, a little entertainment. A joke or a costume, okay?"

Kurt Merriman
Paid Provocateur
"That flamer, Baton Bob, what he does should be criminalized, because we were driving down Lindell one day, and I'd never heard of him, and I saw something in a cheerleading outfit doing this strut, and I'm like, 'Oh man, check that out!' I thought it was a hot girl, but we got up closer and it was a guy! So if he wasn't on the street that incident wouldn't get brought up all the time, and I wouldn't get made fun of by my so-called friends."

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