Chicken Joins List of Foods That Will Turn You into a Girly Man

Apr 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm
click to enlarge Bolivian President Evo Morales. Note the full head of lustrous hair. - Image via
Bolivian President Evo Morales. Note the full head of lustrous hair.
Bolivian President Evo Morales made news earlier this week when, while speaking at an environmental conference, he declared that eating chicken could cause homosexuality and male-pattern baldness.

The Guardian reports
...Morales said chicken producers injected fowl with female hormones and insisted that "when men eat those chickens they experience deviances in being men."
Scientists, once they'd put down their delicious KFC Double Down sandwiches, scoffed.

Of course, chicken is not the first foodstuff to be accused of posing a grave threat to heterosexuality.

In 2006, Jim Rutz, columnist for WorldNetDaily, argued that soy products were "feminizing."
Soy is feminizing, and commonly leads to a decrease in the size of the penis, sexual confusion and homosexuality. That's why most of the medical (not socio-spiritual) blame for today's rise in homosexuality must fall upon the rise in soy formula and other soy products. (Most babies are bottle-fed during some part of their infancy, and one-fourth of them are getting soy milk!)
That Rutz's scientific background includes, uh, being the chairman of something called Megashift Ministries -- not to mention that it was published in WorldNetDaily (official motto: "We were batshit insane years before anyone had heard of Birthers!") -- didn't stop the claim from being widely disseminated.

There have even been claims that Mountain Dew can shrink the size of a man's penis or testicles or lower his sperm count. The indispensable Snopes debunks this, noting that the supposed cause (die Yellow No. 5) has been in use for nearly a century without any epidemic of manly-part shrinkage.

As usual, homophobic/misogynist pseudoscience proves only that, if there is something to prevent a human being from being a raging asshole, science sure as hell hasn't found it yet.