Phallic-Shaped Snowstorm Has Come to Screw All of St. Louis

This rendering of the snowstorm has us feeling shivers. It’s from meteorologist Chris Higgins on Fox 2’s Facebook page and it sure does make you just want to stay in bed today, doesn’t it? What’s that, Mr. Weatherman? We’re going to get 4+ inches or more? Oh, you are so naughty.

Normally, the idea of this much snow falling on St. Louis is reason to panic but somehow this graphic makes it seem like a good idea. It’s usually just so hard (*bites bottom lip*) to deal with all of this wetness (*flutters eyelashes*) but this foreplay — er — forecast, has us eager to jump right on this snow train.

While Missouri has been known to take a good winter pounding in the past, these curious curves show that this particular storm is hitting St. Louis in all of the right places.

Is everyone else out there enjoying this snow dick — um — snow day? We hear that the roads aren’t too bad but that locals are pulling out of lots of events around town because it’s still cumming down out there.

Stay safe today, St. Louis! Don’t forget to wear your glove(s)!

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