If you want to do something more interesting on Thanksgiving than the usual family feast, the Gentle Barn in Dittmer, Missouri, has an invitation for you: Come out, eat some vegan pie and cuddle with the turkeys. Yes, turkeys.
Gentle Barn founder Ellie Laks, who grew up partly in St. Louis and partly in Boston and New Haven, Connecticut, has been cuddling turkeys for more than two decades. She recently joined us by video from her home in California to discuss how the cuddling began and whether any self-respecting Missourian is willing to give it a chance.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
How did you come to cuddle your first turkey?
The very first turkey that I ever saved was a male. It was about a year later that I rescued my very first female turkey, and she and I had a wonderful ritual. Every morning while I was feeding and filling up water buckets, she would follow me around and we would have a wonderful morning conversation. She would talk and I would listen; I would talk and she would listen. One day, she followed me around for longer than usual. And I started worrying, like, “Is she trying to tell me something? Does she need something?” So I put down my rake and I sat down on the ground and I said, “What is it, girl? Are you OK?” And she climbed into my lap and fell asleep. That was my first turkey cuddle, and we've been cuddling turkeys ever since.
The male turkey you knew first — did you then try to cuddle him?
What I learned is that males do not like to cuddle. They like to show off and get attention and be called handsome. It's the females that like to cuddle and talk and socialize. Over the last almost 25 years, across three locations with hundreds of turkeys rescued, that is standard: the males want attention and show off and the females want to cuddle — once they feel safe.
You’ve been inviting St. Louisans to join you in that cuddling for a few years now. Are people hesitant?
I think that we're all hesitant with something that is new to us. But once we model it for them, they jump right in, and in my experience, people who come to the Gentle Barn to cuddle turkeys, the majority of them burst into tears once they do it.
Do you find people come to Dittmer thinking, “I'm going to stop by and cuddle turkeys” and still plan to have a turkey dinner that afternoon?
You know, friends will be invited by friends or maybe family is in town and so their family wants to bring them, and they think, “Oh yeah, we'll just do this really cool thing and then we'll go to our Thanksgiving dinner.” And I think that cuddling the turkeys, feeding them their treats, eating vegan pie, participating in a Native American drum circle, really opens their hearts. And I think when they arrive at their previously scheduled dinners, they probably have to think twice about what they're going to do.
Are Missourians really receptive to the idea of giving up their turkey dinner?
When we built the Gentle Barn in St. Louis, we wondered how well we were going to be received, if people were going to be kind to us or even want us in the neighborhood. And I'm sure there is a fair share of people that think we're nuts. But I also think that the majority of people really do come to the Gentle Barn and see animals in a different light, fall in love with them more deeply than they thought possible and leave changed forever.
You offer cow hug therapy, barnyard therapy with emus and llamas and more. If you had to pick from all of the animals you have at the Gentle Barn, which are the best cuddlers?
If I had to pick just one, I think that I would say the cows. There is a healing and a hope that you gain from cows that will take your breath away. It's really hard to put into words. It's just something that you have to experience: resting your cheek against this gentle giant, closing your eyes, lowering your heart rate to match theirs, rise and fall with their breathing and feel small and vulnerable against a giant, nurturing, protective frame. It really transports us back to being an infant where all infinite possibilities are possible.
I can’t help but notice you’re snuggling with someone now. Who’s that?
This is Zazu, and she is our one and only parrot. She actually resides at the California location. We rescued her many many years ago, and as you can see she's climbing all over me.
The Gentle Barn offers turkey cuddling from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. this Thursday, November 23, at its Dittmer location. See gentlebarn.org/thanksgiving for more details.
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