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  • The Best St. Louis Karaoke Spots Every Night of the Week

    The Best St. Louis Karaoke Spots Every Night of the Week

    Photo by Schezar/Flickr

    From art to automobiles, electronics to fashion, U.S. culture is full of Japanese exports. As the scores of Japanese cultural exports now popular in the U.S. have taken hold, Americans have assigned each to one of two broad categories in our cultural hierarchy. To put it in terms of Lawrence Levine’s (antiquated) dichotomy, there are those few which American audiences consider decidedly “highbrow” — Kurosawa films and sushi, for instance — and then there are the droves relegated to a place alongside McDonald’s and Spam as signifiers of baseness and vulgarity — in other words, the “lowbrow.”

    In that second category, in company with the likes of Power Rangers, instant ramen, and Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, is the now-ubiquitous pastime of karaoke. Since its introduction to U.S. audiences sometime in the early 1980s, karaoke (which literally translates to “empty orchestra,” referring the vocal-less recordings with which participants sing) has become a cultural phenomenon of its own in drinking establishments all over the U.S.

    For those of you who just can’t resist the urge to give the crowd your best Whitney Houston after a few drinks, here are the bars that’ll help you quench your thirst for karaoke, no matter what night of the week.

    See also: Five St. Louis Karaoke Bars in Five Days: The Diary of a Sing-Along Addict

     

    Cotter's Sports Bar has you covered on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights.

    Cotter’s Sports Bar has you covered on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights.

    Monday:

    You’re only one day into the work week, but hey, that’s no excuse not to go out and give those pipes a workout. If you’ve got a song inside that just needs to get out, you’ve got three options in town for Monday night karaoke. South City karaoke fiends can head out to Cotter’s Sports Bar (4610 South Kingshighway Boulevard; 314-351-5058). If Dogtown or Clifton Heights is where you reside, you can hit up Mike Talayna’s Juke Box Restaurant (1115 Hampton Avenue; 314-647-7600). Or, if you happen to be a bit further west, Double D Lounge (1740 South Brentwood Boulevard; 314-961-5646) has got you covered when it comes to Monday night karaoke in the Maplewood/Richmond Heights/Brentwood area.

    Tuesday:

    Tuesday nights add one to the list of potential karaoke crime scenes. In addition to Mike Talayna’s and the Double D Lounge, Just John (4112 Manchester Avenue; 314-371-1333) brings karaoke to the Grove, and the Crack Fox (1114 Olive Street; 314-621-6900) ensures that Downtown doesn’t miss out on its share of botched lyrics and questionable renditions.

    Wednesday:

    As hump-day arrives, the Double D Lounge and Mike Talayna’s prove themselves as St. Louis’s standard-bearers of St. Louis’s karaoke culture. Joining them for some mid-week mangling of your favorite songs are Bevo Mill’s Luna Lounge (4561 Gravois Avenue; 314-481-5862), and another night of clumsy crooning on in Southtown at Cotter’s.

     

    Just John hosts karaoke on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

    Just John hosts karaoke on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

    Thursday:

    On Thursday nights, Double D Lounge on Brentwood and Mike Talayna’s on Hampton both host their fourth weekly night of karaoke, while Just John on Manchester goes in for their second and final karaoke night of the week. Soulard also gets a little karaoke love on Thursday nights thanks to Carson’s Sports Bar (1712 South Ninth Street; 314-436-2707).

    Friday:

    Unsurprisingly, the options for karaoke and cocktails open up significantly once the weekend arrives. In addition to another night of bungled belting at Luna Lounge, Mike Talayna’s, Double D Lounge, Carson’s Sports Bar and Cotter’s Sports Bar, a couple weekend warriors of karaoke join the fray. The RFT’s 2011 pick for “Best Karaoke,” the One-Nite Stand (2800 Ohio Avenue; 314-766-0996) hosts its first of two weekly karaoke nights at their divey location at Gravois and Ohio, as does the popular Central West End hang, Tom’s Bar and Grill (20 South Euclid Avenue; 314-367-4900).

    Saturday:

    Saturday nights are likewise rife with opportunities for sauced singing all around town. The One-Nite Stand and Tom’s each host their second and final karaoke night of the week, while Carson’s, Double D Lounge, and Cotter’s all wrap up a longer week of karaoke with some Saturday night celebration.

    Sunday:

    The week’s end has arrived, but if you still haven’t gotten your fill of amateurs intoning their favorite tunes, you’ll have to head to the one remaining karaoke night of the week, at the delightfully weird Mike Talayna’s Juke Box Restaurant on Hampton.

     

    Mike Talayna’s Juke Box hosts karaoke every night of the week.

    Mike Talayna’s Juke Box hosts karaoke every night of the week.

    And the Winners Are:

    When it comes to karaoke, everyone’s a winner, but when it comes to bringing karaoke to St. Louis’s vibrant amateur vocalists, there are two clear winners. Hosting karaoke every single night of the week, Mike Talayna’s Juke Box Restaurant (Mike Talayna’s Juke Box Restaurant (1115 Hampton Avenue; 314-647-7600) is a sure-shot for karaoke pretty much whenever the desire hits. Coming in at a close second is Brentwood’s Double D Lounge (1740 South Brentwood Boulevard; 314-961-5646), which offers karaoke Monday-Saturday, but takes a sonic Sabbath on Sunday, if only to rest up for more on Monday night.

  • St. Louis Bars Where You Can Find Trivia Any Night of the Week

    St. Louis Bars Where You Can Find Trivia Any Night of the Week

    Photo by Liz Ortmann

    Lovers of music trivia show their stuff at the now-shuttered Bleeding Deacon.

    For St. Louisans dismayed at the season break of their favorite television shows and the ennui that traditionally accompanies it, some other brand of affordable evening entertainment is clearly in order. Luckily, our fair city is awash in opportunities to show off all that otherwise useless knowledge crowding up your cranium.

    As a service to those who’ve recently found themselves sitting around, staring at the walls, we’ve created a list of more than 40 trivia nights in and around the city to keep you entertained pretty much any night of the week, regardless what part of town you happen to be in.

    Our list follows. Did we miss something good? Let us know in the comments section.

    Sunday
    The weekend’s drawing to a close and you don’t feel like vegging out in front of some reruns while you steel yourself for the coming week. Instead, you can head out to the lone Sunday trivia night in town.
    Llywelyn’s Pub – Soulard (1732 Ninth Street; 314-436-3255)

    Monday
    The week’s just begun, but you’re already feeling like it’s time to go out and flaunt your intellectual superiority. Luckily for you, Monday’s one of the best nights to find some trivia around town. Gather up a few of your smartest friends and prepare to win a few free drinks at one of these trivia nights.

    Anheuser-Busch Biergarten (12th and Lynch Street; 314-577-2626)

    Blue Sky Tower Grill (1034 S Brentwood Boulevard; 314-726-2583)

    The Crow’s Nest (7336 Manchester Road; 314-781-0989)

    Harry’s (2144 Market Street; 314-421-6969)

    Helen Fitzgerald’s (3650 S Lindbergh Boulevard; 314-984-0026)

    Highway 61 Roadhouse and Kitchen (34 S Old Orchard Avenue; 314-968-0061)

    Joey B’s on the Hill (2524 Hampton Avenue; 314-645-7300)

    O’Leary’s Restaurant and Pub (3828 South Lindbergh Boulevard #118; 314-842-7678)

    The Shaved Duck (2900 Virginia Avenue; 314-776-1407)

    Syberg’s Gravois (7802 Gravois Road; 314-832-3560)

    West End Grill and Pub (354 N Boyle Avenue; 314-531-4607);

    The Wood (2733 Sutton Boulevard; 314-781-4607)

     

    The Heavy Anchor -- a great spot for Tuesday night trivia. - Photo by Mabel Suen

    Photo by Mabel Suen

    The Heavy Anchor — a great spot for Tuesday night trivia.

    Tuesday
    Tuesdays, likewise, are rife with opportunities to show off your wealth of frivolous knowledge all over the city. Check out these bars for a little Tuesday trivia.

    The Dubliner (1025 Washington Avenue; 314-421-4300)

    Felix’s (6401 Clayton Avenue; 314-645-6565)

    The Heavy Anchor (5226 Gravois Avenue; 314-352-5226)

    Humphrey’s (3700 Laclede Avenue; 314-535-0700)

    International Tap House – Soulard (1711 S 9th Street; 314-621-4333)

    The Mack (4615 Macklind Avenue; 314-832-8199)

    Meyer’s Grove (4510 Manchester Avenue; 314-932-7003)

    Nellie Glenn’s (6109 Gravois Avenue; 314-457-8766)

    Scottish Arms (8 S Sarah Street; 314-535-0551)

    Stacked STL (7637 Ivory, 314-544-4900)

    Tom’s Bar and Grill (20 S Euclid Avenue; 314-367-4900)

    Van Goghz Martini Bar & Bistro (3200 Shenandoah Avenue; 314-865-3345)

    Wednesday
    You’re halfway to the weekend, and all the way to the biggest trivia night of the week in St. Louis. With sixteen trivia nights going on around the city, you’d be hard pressed not to find one in your neck of the woods.

    Amsterdam Tavern (3175 Morgan Ford Road; 314-772-8224)

    CBGB (3163 S Grand Boulevard; 314-776-3756)

    The Gramophone (4243 Manchester Avenue; 314-531-5700)

    Great Grizzly Bear (1027 Geyer Avenue; 314-231-0444)

    Halo Bar (6161 Delmar Boulevard; 314-726-6161)

    Llywelyn’s Pub – Central West End (4747 McPherson Avenue; 314-361-3003)

    Market Pub House (6655 Delmar Boulevard; 314-727-8880)

    Mike Duffy’s – Richmond Heights (6662 Clayton Road; 314-644-3700)

    Morgan Street Brewery (721 N Second Street; 314-231-9970)

    O’Shay’s Pub (4353 Manchester Avenue; 314-932-5232)

    Pepper’s Grill & Bar (5452 Gravois Avenue; 314-352-9909)

    The Post Sports Bar & Grill (7372 Manchester Road; 314-645-1109)

    SOHA Bar and Grill (2605 Hampton Avenue; 314-802-7877)

    Southtown Pub (3707 S Kingshighway Boulevard; 314-832-9009)

    Trueman’s Place (1818 Sidney Street; 314-865-5900)

    Three Monkeys (3153 Morgan Ford Road; 314-772-9800)

    Turn the page for more trivia nights toward the week’s end.

  • Historic California Do-Nut Co. Will Get a Second Life with New Owner

    Historic California Do-Nut Co. Will Get a Second Life with New Owner

    Paul Sableman via Flickr Creative Commons

    The iconic sign went dark long ago.

    In 1948, a man named Henry J. Bielefeld founded the California Do-Nut Co. (2924 South Jefferson Avenue). The shop churned out freshly fried doughnuts from a machine that automatically flipped them to the delight of the neighborhood kids.

    Eventually, the shop closed. Paper went up in the windows, and then a car lost control and plowed into the building, so boards covered the damage. Then graffiti covered the boards.

    But the iconic green “California Do-Nut Co.” neon sign remained, and if all goes according to plan, new owner Felinna Love will be able to switch it back on in 2016.

    “I’m so in love with the sign,” she says. “I was born in San Francisco, so the name is dear to my heart.”

     

    The former California Do-Nut Co. - Google Street View

    Google Street View

    The former California Do-Nut Co.

    Love currently works for the St. Louis public school system in the human resources department, but she’s always loved to cook. She says the birth of her one-year-old son Xavier inspired her to finally pursue her dream to open her own place. When she approached her alderman about possible locations, he mentioned the empty California Do-Nut building. The building’s owner agreed to let her lease and gut the space, she says, so long as she kept the historic name.

    Work will begin in the next 30 days, she predicts.

    “We want to keep the historic look, but we will be painting a couple things,” she says. “The sign is going to stay, the awnings will come down.”

    And that now-famous green color? It’ll get a fresh coat of turquoise paint.

    Love says she’s researched places like Strange Donuts, but is hoping to offer something a little different and more convenient for doughnut-lovers in Benton Park. The shop will specialize in the yeast style and the signature will be a maple glaze. She also plans to offer PB&J and s’mores doughnuts, but the menu is far from final. Love is constantly testing things out with the help of her husband, mother and friends, who are all pitching in on the venture.

    She’s also hoping to resurrect California Do-Nut without going into debt, and to that end she’s started a Kickstarter campaign that’s already raised over $2,600. Love hopes to use the money on construction and commercial kitchen equipment, but pledges that even if she misses her goal, the business will go forward with a projected opening date of January 2016.

    The public is invited to Love’s “Kickstarter Party” on May 23 at the shop for food, drink and music, to help get the word out and see the space. More details to come — follow California Do-Nut Co. on Facebook for the latest details.

    “It’s a pretty big change,” she says of making the career switch. “Being a parent kind of propels you to go ahead and follow your dream. I kind of felt like there’s really nothing holding me back. I don’t want to look down the line and say I never even tried.”

    Contribute to Love’s Kickstarter campaign here and learn more about the shop:

    Email the author at [email protected].

  • Beatles Sister Louise Harrison Departs the Midwest After 50 Odd and Entertaining Years

    Beatles Sister Louise Harrison Departs the Midwest After 50 Odd and Entertaining Years

    Courtesy Acclaim Press

    Brothers George and Peter Harrison visit their sister Louise in Benton, Illinois, in 1963.

    If it weren’t for coal, you would not be reading this. If it weren’t for coal, a British wife, her Scottish husband and their two young children never would have left their home in Inverness, Scotland, in 1956 and taken a journey that led them to Canada, Peru and finally to Benton, Illinois, where they landed in September 1963.

    The husband was an engineer in the mining business. The wife was George Harrison’s sister.

    Louise Harrison — the only Beatle sister — stayed in the Midwest for much of the last five decades, primarily in Illinois and Missouri. In that time her life was not marked by anything out of the ordinary. Divorce, various jobs, moves to small towns and big cities, birth, death, good moments and bad moments. Yet there was and always will be that one thing that makes her anything but ordinary, that blood link to a man who is revered throughout the world, a brother whose fame transcends fame itself.

    It’s hard to imagine being in her shoes. Do you take advantage of the name, or try and disassociate from it? Eldest sibling Louise, 83, and family baby George bookend the four Harrison offspring; in between were Harry and the late Peter Harrison, who died of cancer in 2007. The brothers — who both worked for George as groundskeepers after he purchased a massive, Downton Abbey-like estate in England in 1974 — shunned the spotlight completely.

    Louise, not so much.

    Back in ’63 she promoted the Beatles to any media outlet in the Benton area that would listen; bear in mind the group was unknown in the United States at the time. She petitioned radio and TV stations, sent letters, made calls, wrote Beatles manager Brian Epstein lengthy letters advising how to break the band into America. (Epstein refused to make Louise an official band rep). In ’64 and ’65 she wrote and broadcast “daily Beatle reports nationwide.”

    Since those heady days, she has given countless interviews, spoken to “her global family of Beatle people” at numerous functions around the world, and, for the past ten years, managed Liverpool Legends, a Branson-based Beatles tribute band.

    Now after spending most of 50 years in the Midwest, Harrison set off this past December for California, leaving behind two properties she still owns in Missouri and enough memories to fill a 354-page book. Louise Harrison’s autobiography, My Kid Brother’s Band a.k.a. The Beatles!, came out last year from Acclaim Press and tells the story of her early life in Liverpool, her subsequent move to America, and ups and downs as a mother with two alcoholic husbands. All of it centers on how her life has been intertwined with her brother George’s.

    “It was the guy who plays my brother in Liverpool Legends who urged me to do it,” Harrison says of the memoir. “I was not at all interested, but he said, ‘All that stuff you did in 1963, helping Brian to know what to do to get the Beatles started over here, that’s all kind of important, and nobody knows about it.’ I said I wasn’t doing it for publicity, I was doing it to help my kid brother.”

    The guy who plays her kid brother — a surreal idea at that — is Marty Scott, a man Harrison says has “filled the space that George left in my life in many, many ways.”

    “I think she was grieving a bit when I met her,” says Scott of their 2001 introduction shortly after George died. “It might have given her something to hold onto a bit, but we’ve gone so far past that. I’ve probably spent more time with her than George did.”

    That’s no exaggeration, given two facts: Harrison has worked with Scott for fifteen years, and she left Liverpool when her brother was twelve. The next time she saw George, he was twenty and she 32, living in a 1930s bungalow at 113 McCann Street in Benton, behind Benton Consolidated High School, just off Main Street.

  • Fish Fry-Days: Epiphany of Our Lord

    Fish Fry-Days: Epiphany of Our Lord

    The line at the Epiphany of Our Lord fish fry. | Cheryl Baehr

    As the revelry of Mardi Gras gives way to the solemn season of Lent, seafood-loving St. Louisans can rejoice: It’s fish fry season. This year, we’re checking out some of the area’s Catholic churches to see what’s cooking.

    Epiphany of Our Lord: The “Best Kept Secret in Southwest City”

    Monica Hunyar wears a pin of three gilded fish on her apron. “It was a gift from one of the old-timers,” she explains. “His wife used to be really involved with fish fry, and when she passed, he gave it to me.”

    Hunyar’s story pretty much sums up the tradition-steeped Epiphany of Our Lord (6596 Smiley Avenue; 314-781-1199) fish fry. For more than 50 years (Hunyar can’t exactly recall, but she’s certain it’s been that long), the Clifton Heights parish has honored this Lenten tradition with a massive feast every Ash Wednesday and Friday during Lent, except Good Friday.

    See also: 5 St. Louis Restaurants to Celebrate Lent

    It’s a three-day undertaking: Parishioners begin prepping the food the Wednesday before the Friday fry, making homemade sides and desserts to accompany the seafood extravaganza. “We call ourselves the best-kept secret in Southwest city,” Henyar proudly states. Judging from the packed gymnasium, the cat(fish) is out of the bag.

     

    An admiral's feast at Epiphany of Our Lord. | Cheryl Baehr

    An admiral’s feast at Epiphany of Our Lord. | Cheryl Baehr

    The Food:
    In addition to the traditional fried cod, Epiphany serves cornmeal-crusted catfish, fried jack salmon and battered shrimp by the piece. The parishioners are proud of their homemade sides, including creamy mac & cheese (the highlight of the feast) and vinegary coleslaw. This fish fry is a bargain. A couple can eat for under ten bucks.

    The Scene:
    Epiphany’s fish fry is packed, with a line usually wrapping around the gymnasium. It’s a welcoming crowd — we wonder if this is because of the generous wine pours handed out for a mere $2.

    Insider Tip:
    The catfish and mac & cheese are must-trys. Be sure to grab a piece of the gooey-butter-topped chocolate cake if you see it on the dessert line, and don’t forget to buy your wine tickets when you pay for your food.

    Follow Cheryl Baehr on Twitter at @CherylABaehr. E-mail the author at [email protected].



  • Kendrick Lamar Addresses Criticism to His Ferguson Remarks With “The Blacker the Berry”

    Kendrick Lamar Addresses Criticism to His Ferguson Remarks With “The Blacker the Berry”

    Press photo via official website

    Kendrick Lamar

    Rapper Kendrick Lamar released a new track this week from his hotly anticipated followup to 2012’s Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City. The song, titled “The Blacker the Berry,” was dropped the day after the Compton native took home two Grammy wins for Best Rap Performance and Best Rap Song for his song “i,” also expected to appear on the forthcoming album.

    Whereas “i” is a deeply introspective, life-affirming song, “The Blacker the Berry” is a racially charged call to arms. And in many ways, it appears to confront the criticism he faced for his remarks on the shooting of Mike Brown in Ferguson.

    See also: Kendrick Lamar’s Debut is One of the Most Important Hip-Hop Albums of Our Era

    Lamar drew widespread ire from activists and fellow hip-hop artists owing to an interview he did with Billboard in early January. Specifically:

    Lamar spent much of his childhood on the streets, and he’s cagey about the trouble he might’ve gotten into. “Oh, man, I won’t be able to say that on record. I got into some things, but God willing, he had favoritism over me and my spirit.” He also has been treated unfairly by the cops — “plenty of times. All the time.” Asked about the high-profile killings of African-Americans by police in 2014, from Ferguson, Mo., to Staten Island, he says, “I wish somebody would look in our neighborhood knowing that it’s already a situation, mentally, where it’s f—ked up. What happened to [Michael Brown] should’ve never happened. Never. But when we don’t have respect for ourselves, how do we expect them to respect us? It starts from within. Don’t start with just a rally, don’t start from looting — it starts from within.”

    The backlash was immediate, with fellow hip-hop artists Azealia Banks and Kid Cudi leading the charge.

    Lamar’s sentiment wasn’t a new one. The entirety of Good Kid, M.A.A.D. City — a concept album whose tracks tell an unbroken narrative when taken as a whole — essentially offered the same message. But critics of his remarks felt Lamar was playing respectability politics — ground tread more often by the likes of Bill Cosby and Steve Harvey than that of Kendrick’s hero and supposed musical ancestor, Tupac.

    The opening lines of “The Blacker the Berry” seem to address the unrest in Ferguson directly:

    Continue to page two.

  • Chuck Berry Hasn’t Played His Monthly Blueberry Hill Gig Since October

    Chuck Berry Hasn’t Played His Monthly Blueberry Hill Gig Since October

    Steve Truesdell — Chuck Berry addresses the crowd during an October 2013 show at Blueberry Hill.

    Chuck Berry’s nearly two-decade residency at Blueberry Hill is the stuff of legends, chronicled in publications including Rolling Stone , the Wall Street Journal and, of course, RFT Music . His October show marked the 209th consecutive gig at the venue.

    “No other superstar rock & roller has played that many shows in one single venue,” says Berry’s long-time friend and owner of Blueberry Hill, Joe Edwards. “He’s played every single month from 1996 through his 88th birthday week in October 2014.”

    See also: The Best Moments of Chuck Berry’s Shows at Blueberry Hill, as Told By His Bandmates

    Now, that streak has ended. Rumors began swirling in the fall that the October show would be his last, marking a retirement from live performances. At the time, Edwards quickly shut those rumors down, telling the Post-Dispatch , “He might decide to not play every month. Whatever he wants to do is fine with me. But he hasn’t told me anything about [retiring].”

    Still, November and December passed without performances, and there aren’t any new dates on the venue’s calendar, either.

    See also: That Time Chuck Berry Punched Keith Richards in the Face

    So what’s to blame? Turns out, it’s just these damn bitter cold St. Louis winters .

    #ChuckBerry is taking time off during the winter. As soon as we have a new date for his next show we will post it! http://t.co/RnV3m7ssr9 — Blueberry Hill (@BBHstl) December 15, 2014

    “He’s taking a pause during the winter weather,” confirms Edwards. For his Blueberry Hill gigs, Berry — who owns two homes in the St. Louis area [one in Ladue and one just outside of Wentzville] — always drives himself in.

    “He never left St. Louis,” Edwards says. “Born and raised here. Other superstars moved out, but he never did.”

    See also: Chuck Berry’s St. Louis Homes and Properties Before He Was Rich and Famous [Photos]

    Admittedly, traversing the frozen tundra in the winter months probably isn’t always the most pleasant of experiences for an octogenarian, so it would make sense that Berry has decided to sit this one out. Edwards tells us that he is not sure when the shows will resume.

    “I think once winter’s over it will become clearer,” he says.

    Stay home, rest up and stay warm, Chuck. Rock & roll will be waiting for you at Blueberry Hill when you return — right where you left it.

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    Follow @rftmusic

  • RIP Fred Teutenberg, King of the Dirt Cheap Commercials

    RIP Fred Teutenberg, King of the Dirt Cheap Commercials

    YouTube

    See you at the crossroads, Fred Teutenberg. We expect you to have a cigarette and some “cheap, cheap” Beefeater gin waiting for us.

    Fred Teutenberg, hero to the persecuted smokers and cheap drinkers of St. Louis, died of congestive heart failure at his Brentwood home on Monday, December 29.

    The 75-year-old entrepreneur, who opened the Dirt Cheap stores chain, earned a special place in St. Louisans’ hearts, not just for his reasonably priced alcohol and cigarettes but for the commercials that were always a party in themselves — a party that included a giant yellow chicken wearing a bathing suit.

     

    The more you drink, the better Fred Teutenberg looks in this commercial. - YouTube

    YouTube

    The more you drink, the better Fred Teutenberg looks in this commercial.

    Teutenberg wasn’t afraid to star in his own wacky commercials written to convince St. Louis residents to buy their booze where it was “cheap, cheap” and “fun, fun.” Here are two of our favorites:

    In this work of cinematographic magic, Teutenberg physically embodies his famous saying, “The more she drinks, the better you look,” by transforming into a hunky body-builder.
    “I don’t know about you, but I need all the help I can get,” Teutenberg tells the audience in his raspy smoker’s voice.

    In this commercial, Teutenberg suggests customers buy a large wallet to hold their savings from Dirt Cheap because, “remember, size really does matter.”

    Teutenberg makes a special plea to smokers to buy their cigarettes from Dirt Cheap, saying, “We are the last refuge of the persecuted smoker.”

    Teutenberg, a Webster Groves native, came from a long line of St. Louis restaurateurs and spent sixteen years building Dirt Cheap. He left in what he only ever described to the St. Louis Post-Dispatch as a mysterious “parting of ways” to found his own store, Fred’s Cheapo Depot.

    “I’m back to offer you all your favorite vices at cheaper prices,” Teutenberg says in a Fred’s Cheapo Depot commercial.

    There’s no giant chicken this time, but there is a cartoon version of Teutenberg as a hockey player with a black eye.

    Teutenberg and the Dirt Cheap chain liked to end commercials with the same helpful advice: “Have fun, and be careful out there.”

    Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at [email protected].

  • The “Save Big Money at Menards” Jingle: A History

     

    Menards_Guy_Ray.jpg
    Screengrab via YouTube
    “Menards Guy” Ray Szmanda

     

    Certain homegrown songs get played quite a bit in the Midwest, but there’s one song that seems to explode across our airwaves more than any other. It’s been a hit on every terrestrial radio station within the state’s limits and is instantly identifiable by anyone who has ever spent time with their television or radio on.

    Of course, I’m talking about the Menards Jingle.

    Most of us remember it for the eleven months out of the year that the infectious staccato banjo instrumental beneath “Menards Man” Ray Szmanda’s irresistible pitch for us to “Save Big Money at Menards” comforts us as only advertising can.

    But the holiday season has always been signified by the jingle’s winter remix. Those plucked high strings and rapturous sleigh bells transport us to the mystical Decembers of our youth. After being made aware of their annual “Home for Christmas” sale, often including faucets and phones, we’re met under the mistletoe with the timeless carol “Warm season’s greetings to you all from Menards!”

    In a world where jingles often change and even the most longstanding of standards become altered or updated, Menards has boldly stuck to its guns. Since the store has used the jingle for literally decades, we decided to reach out to Menards’ corporate offices to get the full story on the song. After checking around, we were told that nobody currently working for Menards was even around when the jingle was put into use, and that they’ve just kept using it.

    While “it’s just always existed” would be a compelling mythology for the Menards jingle, the Internet reveals something of a dispute as to where it originally came from. While there’s no real way to hold blog posts and their subsequent comments to any sort of accountability, here are the facts we know for sure:

    *Menards was founded in 1960 by John Menard Jr.
    *The jingle was recorded at Irish Saxe Studios.
    *The current particular recordings we hear were recorded in the early ’80s.
    *You’ll save big money at Menards.

    Outside of this, things get tricky. While the popular feel-good urban legend is that the jingle’s music and lyrics were created by John Menard Jr.’s wife as something of a home improvement theme-music Betsy Ross, most accounts attribute the song’s origins to studio musicians and the competitive nature of the jingle era.

    Irish Saxe Studios, Appleton, Wisconsin’s jingle mothership, is the likely spot of the Menards jingle event horizon. In 1972, Eau Claire WAXX/WAYY station manager and friend to Menard Bob Holton wrote the lyrics over some stock music, selling it to Menard on the cheap.

    The track was used for about a decade and then composer Mitch Irish rearranged it in 1982. Irish, who is also known for the music from Troma Studio’s cult classic The Capture of Bigfoot (directed by former Reform Party candidate for governor of Wisconsin Bill Rebane), also recorded this new version at Irish Saxe, known today as Saxe Productions.

    While the Menards Christmas jingle remains a complete mystery to us, we can at least live with the knowledge that the original jingle was made by mere mortals.

    But as the seasons change, friends come and go, and neighborhoods evolve, every year our lives will have one constant: those warm banjos and the comfort of being told we’ll “save big money at Menards.”

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  • Why Ariana Grande Is Terrifying

    Why Ariana Grande Is Terrifying

    Melissa Rose via Wikipedia

    Behold the face of pure evil.

    I feel the same way about pop star Ariana Grande as I do about kittens. Like a kitten, she is small, manic and often has furry ears. Like a kitten, everyone in the world loves her. And, like a kitten, she fills me with deep, untenable terror.

    This is not a reason to grin. It’s a reason to lock your doors.

    News reports have done nothing to quiet my petrifying fear of demon-plagued potential serial killer Ariana Grande. If she turns out to be a sociopath who takes over the world and destroys us, don’t act like I didn’t warn you in a completely reasoned way.

    Let’s survey the evidence:

    Her Family
    Psychologists generally agree that sociopathy runs in families. One memory Grande has of her mother seems a little different from the typical nurturing: “When I was a little kid she smeared blood all over the walls in our new house and said O.J. did it.” And then there’s her brother, who detailed his fantasies for an elaborate killing of one of his housemates on Big Brother 16. So, OK then.

    Her Mutability
    The ability to change one’s emotions at the blink of an eye is a classic trait of sociopathy. Take a look at the footage of this conversation with the hosts of Good Morning America on the topic of Ariana’s recently deceased grandfather:

    For a second Ariana looks like she’s going to cry. Then, everyone looks away and — snap, nod, drop. If there’s anything left on her face, it’s cold, undiluted malice. This is the part when Ryan Seacrest wakes up in the middle of the night with “U DIE ALIVE LOL” written in blood across his chest.

    Her Accent
    Speaking of abrupt shifts, observe the progression of Ariana’s public persona. During an inane interview featuring questions inside of balloons, she sounds essentially the same as her character on the brain-meltingly idiotic teen sitcom Victorious, her sole source of fame at the time. Now compare this to an interview six months later after the release of her hit debut single, “The Way.”

    Asthmatic white girl to super-down and borderline ratchet over the course of a semester? You don’t go from teen idiot to “urban cool” that convincingly unless you’ve got a Ted Bundy-esque eye for interpersonal control.

    Continue to page two for more proof that Ariana Grande is to be feared.

  • 16 Photos of Ferguson Burning

    16 Photos of Ferguson Burning

    All photos by Steve Truesdell — The Hunan Chop Suey in the 9800 block of West Florissant Avenue burns.

    The Conoco station.

    Fashions R Boutique.

    “Burn this motherfucker down!”

    When the grand jury announced no indictment against Ferguson Police officer Darren Wilson, Louis Head rushed to comfort his wife, Lesley McSpadden, Brown’s mother. Then, obviously reeling from his wife’s pain, he turned to the crowd and shouted: “Burn this bitch down! Burn this bitch down!”

    He got his wish.

    In the violent hours that followed the grand jury announcement, a Conoco service station convenience store, Fashions R Boutique, Auto Zone, Title Max, Sam’s Meat Market, the #HealSTL office, a cell phone store, Red’s Barbecue, the Family Dollar Store, Little Ceasar’s, St. Louis Fish Chicken and Grill, Hidden Treasures antique store, Public Storage, Beauty Town and other buildings were set on fire.

    Some buildings, such as the #HealSTL office ( a non-profit founded by alderman Antonio French ), Beauty Town, and the Little Ceasar’s/antique store building, were completely destroyed.

    Two police vehicles and at least a dozen cars at a dealership were also burned. By Tuesday morning, at least two of the buildings on West Florissant Avenue between Lucas and Hunt and Chambers roads were still smoking and the air was heavy with the stink of burning. Daily RFT tried to get a closer look, but a Missouri State Highway Patrol trooper told our reporter the street was still “an active crime scene.”

    Here are images photographer Steve Truesdell captured of the fires. Click through our Riverfront Times slideshow for more of his pictures from Ferguson:

    Eight more pictures, plus a photo from the morning after, on the next page.

  • William Lynn Gunter Sentenced to 30 Years for Murder of Wife Suzanne

    William Lynn Gunter Sentenced to 30 Years for Murder of Wife Suzanne

    The Gunters’ former Town & Country home.

    The March 2013 murder of Suzanne Ball Gunter, allegedly by her husband, William Lynn, piqued the interest of many across the country — even international press covered her death. Perhaps it was their seemingly comfortable life in Town & Country, or their reputation as a fun-loving couple with lots of friends.

    “I knew them both forever. It’s a terrible thing, a big shock,” says Mark Vinson, a long-time family friend and former colleague of the couple who lives in Kentucky.

    The case, which was headed for a November 3 jury trial, ended on Friday when Mr. Gunter — who goes by Lynn — pleaded guilty to second-degree murder. A judge sentenced him on Monday to 30 years in prison.

    “The evidence was overwhelming. Lynn did not want to put his family through a trial,” his attorney John Rogers tells Daily RFT. “All these things were involved in the decision-making process and the enter of a guilty plea.”

    See also: William Lynn Gunter, Accused of Beating Wife to Death, Claims it Was an Accident

     

    William Lynn Gunter and Suzanne Ball Gunter. - St. Louis County PD/LinkedIn

    St. Louis County PD/LinkedIn

    William Lynn Gunter and Suzanne Ball Gunter.

    Back on March 18, 2013, Town & Country police were called to the 1500 block of Mason Hill Court in the middle of the afternoon for an “accidental injury.” According to court documents, Suzanne was found at the base of a flight of tiled stairs in a large pool of blood. There was also blood spatter on the walls, ceiling and down the hall; beside her body lay a picture frame and a laptop computer. Lynn was at home at the time and told police he heard Suzanne call for Fergie, the family dog, before hearing a loud thud. Lynn said his wife tried to stand up but could not, convulsed and hit her head on the floor, and that he held her head in his lap. According to police, Lynn then called neighbors, who themselves called 911 — a detail that seemed to arouse suspicion.

    Suzanne died at the hospital, and an autopsy report concluded the cause was blunt force trauma inconsistent with falling down the stairs. The medical examiner retrieved short, dark hairs from Suzanne’s hands and fingernails, and said that the broken laptop computer found beside her could have inflicted the head injuries that killed her. Two days after the incident, St. Louis County police arrested Lynn and charged him with first-degree murder. He initially pleaded not guilty.

    Attorneys for Lynn tried to argue that because the Gunters’ neighbors quickly cleaned up the bloody scene in an attempt to be helpful, they destroyed evidence that could have exonerated Lynn. Additionally, those hairs retrieved in the autopsy mysteriously went missing and were never tested to see if they matched Lynn. The motion called this destruction of evidence and a denial of due process, and asked that the indictment be thrown out. Lynn also received a psychological evaluation and was deemed competent to stand trial.

    See also: Homicides No. 109-110: Brother, Sister Killed in Nearby Shootings Hours Apart

    Central to the St. Louis County Prosecutor’s investigation was a woman Daily RFT will identify as K.P. Officials sought emails from Lynn’s work address to K.P., who lives in Kentucky. A petition from assistant prosecuting attorney Dean Waldemer said K.P. would be essential to his case because “she had personal contact with the defendant before the murder and defendant discussed his relationship with the victim with the witness.”

    “The evidence he was having an affair was overwhelming,” says Ed Magee, spokesman for the St. Louis County Prosecutor’s office.

    On October 8, Waldemer submitted a letter to Lynn’s legal team stating that he’d spoken with one of the Gunters’ two adult daughters, who told him of an incident when Suzanne called Lynn on the phone and accused him of having an affair. The daughter told Waldemer that “her father then told her a crazy man had called from Kentucky and told her mother that he had a girlfriend in Kentucky. He said that this was untrue…[She] also indicated that within the last six months, her father wrote her a letter admitting to the affair with [K.P.]”

    Magee says K.P. visited Lynn in the St. Louis County jail multiple times, the last visit was on October 9. About a week and a half later, Lynn pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of murder in the second degree.

    “It was a plea agreement that was reached between the prosecution and the defense and the family — the two daughters of the victim, along with her brother and sister — were very happy with that,” says Magee. “Nobody wanted this to go to trial.”

    Vinson, one of several friends of the couple who contacted Daily RFT over the past year and a half inquiring about the case, says he met Lynn in college and Suzanne when they all worked together at Xerox.

    “They were just a professional young couple. Everybody liked them. Fun-loving, Suzy was real smart, moved up in the ranks of Xerox, she was a cheerleader. Everybody loved her,” he says. “And Lynn was — or is — everybody liked him. He was kind of like the class-clown type. There’s bunch of us that sort of reconnected after this happened. We couldn’t believe it.”

    Email the author at [email protected].