Another year, another round of hopes dashed by the jack-booted thugs of the Motor Vehicle Titling & Registration division of the Missouri Department of Revenue.
In 2023, almost 500 Missourians had their requests for personalized license plates denied by the censorious bureaucrats in Jefferson City who somehow couldn’t see the humor — not to mention the ingenious creativity! — in FANO69, WAP-69 or FJB69. What buzzkills. What might have been.
In all seriousness, though, anyone who wants a personalized license plate in Missouri needs only pony up an extra $15 and apply online, in person at a DMV or by mail. However, your chosen vanity text has to pass muster with the state, which expressly forbids anything "obscene, profane, patently offensive or contemptuous of a racial or ethnic group, offensive to good taste or decency." Spoilsports.
We put in a Sunshine Law request for all the plates rejected by the state in 2023 and got 495 responses that collectively form an oversexed sea of vulgarity with waves of political animus, flotsams of bigotry and occasional jetsams of true cleverness. We swam through it and pulled out the 69 best*.
Don't say we didn't warn you. In Missouri, you're sharing the roads with a bunch of freaks — and thanks to the Department of Revenue, their flags aren’t flying. The people behind these sentiments might be anywhere. Proceed with caution!
* and suffice it to say, by best, we mean the worst. Scroll down for the lowlights.
