What Your St. Louis Suburb Says About You

By on Fri, Nov 17, 2023 at 4:46 pm

A few months ago, we gave city dwellers a gentle ribbing by explaining just what their St. Louis neighborhood signified to others.

Let's face it, for grownups, the choice of one's domicile is just as telling, if not more so, than where they graduated high school. Whether you're willing to admit it, people are making judgments about who you are based on where you've chosen to live. We're just the messenger here, folks.

So after we gave all those city neighborhoods a good look in the mirror of local perception, it's now St. Louis County's turn. And here is what others are thinking when you tell them what part of the county you live in — for good, for bad and for ugly.
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Sycamore Hills You believe that a proper suburb should be utterly devoid of commercial real estate.
GOOGLE EARTH SCREENSHOT
Sycamore Hills
You believe that a proper suburb should be utterly devoid of commercial real estate.

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St. Ann You’ve never successfully out-driven your municipality’s chase-happy cops, but luckily your time spent in the city jail has you looking at a nice little payout.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
St. Ann
You’ve never successfully out-driven your municipality’s chase-happy cops, but luckily your time spent in the city jail has you looking at a nice little payout.
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Breckenridge Hills You learned the hard way that it’s best never to try to strike up a conversation with the people milling around on Woodson between Midland and the Rock Road.
image via Google Maps
Breckenridge Hills
You learned the hard way that it’s best never to try to strike up a conversation with the people milling around on Woodson between Midland and the Rock Road.

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St. Charles / St. Peters / O’Fallon You would never dream of traveling to St. Louis city for anything other than a daytime sporting event, and even then you’re bringing a loaded firearm, which will be stolen out of your F-150 sometime in the fourth inning.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
St. Charles / St. Peters / O’Fallon

You would never dream of traveling to St. Louis city for anything other than a daytime sporting event, and even then you’re bringing a loaded firearm, which will be stolen out of your F-150 sometime in the fourth inning.
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Concord Your life revolves around Ronnie's Plaza.
SCREENSHOT VIA GOOGLE EARTH
Concord
Your life revolves around Ronnie's Plaza.

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Marlborough Your idea of fun on a Friday night is going to Tower Tee.
SCREENGRAB VIA GOOGLE MAPS
Marlborough
Your idea of fun on a Friday night is going to Tower Tee.

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Fenton You’re too country for the rest of south county but not country enough for Jefferson County.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Fenton
You’re too country for the rest of south county but not country enough for Jefferson County.
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Ferguson You’re a badass who won’t tolerate injustice.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Ferguson
You’re a badass who won’t tolerate injustice.

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Florissant You have an outsized hatred of St. Charles because you see them as white flight deserters — a funny perspective since you're most likely descended from someone who participated in white flight from the city back in the 1960s. Or maybe you're one of the people of color who've help shake things up since. Either way, you love reminding people that you are the oldest settlement in the St. Louis area.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Florissant
You have an outsized hatred of St. Charles because you see them as white flight deserters — a funny perspective since you're most likely descended from someone who participated in white flight from the city back in the 1960s. Or maybe you're one of the people of color who've help shake things up since. Either way, you love reminding people that you are the oldest settlement in the St. Louis area.

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Bel-Nor You’re still talking about how your city has the house that inspired the Exorcist. And who can blame you?
GOOGLE EARTH SCREENSHOT
Bel-Nor
You’re still talking about how your city has the house that inspired the Exorcist. And who can blame you?

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Bellerive You have traded proximity to just about everything other than UMSL for a gorgeous old house that would cost three times as much on Flora Place.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Bellerive
You have traded proximity to just about everything other than UMSL for a gorgeous old house that would cost three times as much on Flora Place.
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Creve Coeur Your municipality has everything — lovely newer houses, a strong tax base, lots of your fellow Jews. But you can’t help thinking things were more interesting back in U City.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Creve Coeur
Your municipality has everything — lovely newer houses, a strong tax base, lots of your fellow Jews. But you can’t help thinking things were more interesting back in U City.
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Glendale You tell people you’re from the same place as Eric Schmitt because no one knows what Glendale is. (Unlike Eric Schmitt, it’s actually nice.)
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Glendale
You tell people you’re from the same place as Eric Schmitt because no one knows what Glendale is. (Unlike Eric Schmitt, it’s actually nice.)

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Mehlville You’re probably Bosnian and for that we thank you for transforming this drab suburban landscape into something with some culture.
FLICKR/PAUL SABLEMAN
Mehlville
You’re probably Bosnian and for that we thank you for transforming this drab suburban landscape into something with some culture.
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Sappington You’d do anything for some shuteye without those Lindbergh marching band kids waking you up with their 5 a.m. practices.
SCREENGRAB VIA GOOGLE MAPS
Sappington
You’d do anything for some shuteye without those Lindbergh marching band kids waking you up with their 5 a.m. practices.
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Oakville There’s literally nothing to say about you. You’re boring. Get help.
GOOGLE EARTH SCREENSHOT
Oakville
There’s literally nothing to say about you. You’re boring. Get help.
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