In recent days, it has become clear that very few people have any idea what the name of the governor of Missouri even is, actually.
All across social media, as states' governors have been in the spotlight owing to the fact our federal government has apparently abdicated all responsibility in the midst of a pandemic, there has been complete confusion as to whether the man who leads our fine state has an "S" at the end of his name. The bewilderment seems to come from both ends of the political spectrum, from supporters and detractors alike. Nobody seems to be quite sure what to even call this guy.
Here are just a few examples:
My Governor, Mike Parsons, is holding the line against China. https://t.co/kOgdoaKExq— Mattie Ransom #MAGA. (@MattieRansom) April 15, 2020
I do not like Mike Parsons, the governor of Missouri, actions. I will vote for Nicole Galloway November 3rd. I will also vote for Elad Gross. https://t.co/FP67eGQMM9— Phyllis Netzer (@PhyllisNetzer) April 14, 2020
Your argument makes no sense. Ohio has Republican governor but I don't see Fox bringing that up. On the other hand you have dumb governors like my Governor Mike Parson, and South Dakota's governor.— I.AM.DC (@IAMDC35662371) April 18, 2020
💜Sporting my Purple to show my support for Sarcoidosis Awareness💜— Samuel Hall (@samueljhall74) April 20, 2020
I am honored to have received a Proclamation from Governor Mike Parsons, recognizing April is Sarcoidosis Awareness Month here in the State Missouri. #sarcoidosisawareness pic.twitter.com/XPmI7m24ik
The confusion is dizzying, and can be equated to a few things:
1. Nobody voted for him to be governor
Mike was placed in office after the guy who had been voted in, Eric Greitens, turned out to be a big weirdo creep. No one ever saw Mike's name on the ballot for the race for governor, therefore no one is quite sure.
2. He hasn't really done much
As an example, his stay-at-home
3. Everyone remembers voting for a guy with an "S" at the end of his name
Weirdo creep ex-governor definitely had an "S" — we know that for sure. Doesn't this guy?
4. "Parson" is remarkably close to "person"
While is is technically acceptable grammar to use the word "persons" as the plural form of "person," it feels weird — people are far more likely to say "people." And so, too, does it feel weird to say the word "Parsons." Maybe this guy's last name is "Parple?"
So in light of these facts, and in an effort to get to the bottom of this confusion without visiting anyone's campaign website (ew), we present to you an official RFT poll: What is the name of the current governor of the state of Missouri?
No cheating, please, just drop your answer below and then — and only then! — feel free to Google away. Good luck to all the good persons of Missouri.