In less time than it took Jennifer Capriati (and some questionable officiating) to defeat Serena Williams at this year's U.S. Open, Oscar Wegner can teach you how to play tennis. Don't believe us? Richard Williams himself used Wegner's methods to coach his daughters before they hit the big time. And now the former pro player is offering you -- with your weak-ass serve and nonexistent backhand -- the opportunity to take advantage of his teaching methods at the First Annual Tennis Extravaganza in Forest Park. Wegner, whose book You Can Play...Tennis in Two Hours has been used by the Russian Tennis Federation since the early 1990s, conducts two clinics (one for beginners and the other for intermediate players) at the Dwight Davis Tennis Center during the extravaganza. One can only hope that instructional videos featuring the misses Sharapova and Kournikova are included in the sessions! In addition to Wegner's clinics, the event, which runs from noon until 9 p.m., includes skill challenges, mini tennis tournaments, face painting and other children's activities, raffles, music, food and even a Ping-Pong tournament. The cost is $25 for adults and $10 for those eighteen and younger, but the admission price doesn't include the cash bar, games of chance or skill challenges. Call 314-361-0177 for more info or to register. -- Mia York
Stick, Ball and Nothin' but Net
Lacrosse is old-school
SUN 10/10
Of the many things the white man acquired from the Haudenosaunee (commonly known as "Iroquois"), the sport of lacrosse has remained truest to its original form. Known in the Oneida language as ga-lahs, lacrosse is still a hockey-like field game played with netted sticks and a ball by individuals of proud bearing. Get a little taste of the traditional Haudenosaunee sport today when four university lacrosse teams converge for the fourth annual Fall Face-Off at the Anheuser-Busch Soccer Park (One Soccer Park Road, Fenton). Princeton challenges Butler at 11:30 a.m., and Notre Dame battles Johns Hopkins at 1:30 p.m. Admission is $10; kids five and younger get in free. For tickets or more information, call 314-992-0687. -- John Goddard
Thank God
I'm a country boy
SAT 10/9
"Farm livin' is the life for me" goes the classic song (OK, so it's actually the Green Acres theme song), and from 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. at Suson Park (Tesson Ferry and Wells roads; 314-638-2100), farm livin' is what you get. The Suson Farm Fair celebrates all things bucolic and pastoral. Ever wonder where all those people who "Got Milk?" got their milk? Check out the cow-milking demonstration at 11 a.m. Feeling lucky? Try your hand (so to speak) at a rousing game of cow-plop bingo (exactly what it sounds like) at 11:45 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. In between bingo sessions, you can tour the barn and meet Junior the bull and Peanut Butter the horse, learn how to make a saddle and take a line-dancing class. All this for $5! Keep Manhattan; gimme that countryside! -- Paul Friswold
Harvest Home
SUN 10/10
Fall is the time to appreciate life's simple things, like the harvest you didn't work for but get to enjoy anyway from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the Harvest Festival ($4 to $5). The Shaw Nature Reserve of the Missouri Botanical Garden (Gray Summit, off I-44's exit 253; 636-451-3512) offers all that's delicious for the celebrating: Riddle's, SqWires and Mirasol, among others, offer cooked food, and there's a farmer's market, hayrides and down-home music, too. -- Alison Sieloff
