'The Bachelor' Hooked Me — And It Will Trap You, Too

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SCREENSHOT VIA YOUTUBE

So much for the "no sex" thing, eh, Zach?

I am not a reality TV kind of gal. I don’t know if love is blind or if you can find it on an island and I definitely can’t name all of the Kardashians. So you can imagine my surprise when I found myself hooked on the current season of The Bachelor. 

I honestly don’t know what happened — maybe it was a really good ad or an attempt to avoid work, but one day I just started watching. At first, I was skeptical. Romance doesn’t get more basic than red roses, white candles and limos. Also, there is no way that people can fall in love — real love — in less than two months. Still, I found myself drawn in by the unique combination of romance, travel and high drama and was willing to stay up way past my bedtime to watch.

That’s when I discovered, to my horror, that I was in the middle of the current season. That meant no binge-watching and, worse, having to delay gratification week by week. I decided to watch an old season of The Bachelorette just to take the edge off. Now, I am deep in the rabbit hole. I have spent over 30 hours watching Andi Dorfman fall in love, dissecting countless interviews about her break-up and reading both of her books. I have also gotten my hands on a book written by the guys she didn’t choose and just dove into a tell-all by an LA Times columnist. The Bachelor franchise has a formula, and it works, even on a cynic like me.

I desperately needed to talk about it. With a heavy sigh and my head hung low, I confessed to my friends that I am watching The Bachelor. That is when I discovered that they are watching too ... and have been secretly doing so without me.

Maybe it’s not a secret; I just never thought to ask. My psychologist friend has been watching every season and never misses an episode. My editor friend insists that Bachelor in Paradise is the best version of the show. My student told me that she and her friends used to apply for fun each year, and I have nearly convinced my 72-year-old single friend to apply for the senior citizen spin-off.

What is it about this show that keeps us tuned in? The conversation is shallow but the setting is beautiful and anything could happen. Do we all want to believe in fairy tales or are we “hate watching” as some critics claim? Whatever the reason, I’m all in .... for this season, at least.

I have opinions about Zach’s “no sex” proclamation that he made, broke, then gabbed about. I know that Ariel was too good for Zach and hope she is living her best life without him. I am seriously concerned about the bachelor’s intelligence (MOLD wine? This man is no prize). I can’t wait to see what happens in the final episode. Will he pick Kaity, the fun-loving Canadian nurse with whom he spent a night in a museum, or Gabi, the quirky, maple-syrup-loving Vermonter with whom he once survived a Corgi attack? I don’t know. But I do know that when I find myself glued to my TV for the final episode, I will be in good company.

Liz Chiarello is an associate professor in the department of sociology and anthropology at Saint Louis University and a former fellow at the Radcliffe Institute at Harvard University. Her research examines technology, law and the overdose crisis and her book Policing Patients is under contract with Princeton University Press.

The RFT welcomes well-reasoned essays on topics of local interest. Contact Rosalind Early at [email protected] if you've got something to say.