The Six Gayest Songs That Might Be On Chick-Fil-A COO Dan Cathy's iPod

3. Aerosmith - "Dude Looks Like A Lady" When I was in middle school, my dad's side of the family had a reunion, and he and his brothers decided to sing "We Are Family" at a karaoke bar and swap out lyrics to say "I got all my brothers with me." Then, when the verse came in, they all realized they'd never paid attention to that part of the song and just had to guess how it went. I imagine somebody like Dan Cathy thinking positively about the potentially homophobic angle of "Dude Looks Like A Lady." You're making fun of a guy for looking like a girl. But if he were to only focus on the hook, he'd miss out on gems like "Baby, let me follow you down" and "Let me take a peek, dear."

2. Queen - "Bohemian Rhapsody" Legend has it that "Bohemian Rhapsody" was the first song Freddie Mercury wrote after learning he had AIDS. That puts "I don't wanna die, I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" in a different context. And, given the song's status as a sing-along, the though of those words coming out of that ignorant Dick-Fil-A's lips put a smile on mine.

1. The Kinks - "Lola" "Lola" is not the only subversively gay song in the Kinks' discography. "On The Outside" and "Out Of The Wardrobe" have their undertones, but "Lola" is the one that has crept into the public eye most visibly. First off, "Lola" rules, and I hope it's on Dan Cathy's iPod the same way I hope that African refugees I will never meet have clean drinking water. That low piano 35 seconds in is so very heavy. The song details a relationship with a masculine woman who "talked like a man" and "almost broke my spine" in a hug. "Lola" could be overt if it were not so vague. "Girls will be boys and boys will be girls / It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world / Except for Lola." (Is Lola not mixed up because she is comfortable with her transgender identity?) "I am what I am and I'm glad I'm a man / And so is Lola." (Is Lola glad because she's a man or because the narrator is?) Given the popularity of this song in relation to its subject matter, it is probable that an ignorant homophobe heard "Lola" while defiantly chomping on a Chick-Fil-A sandwich in his/her SUV. And given its awesomeness, this person likely turned up the radio, maybe even chewed in rhythm. Oh, the taste of irony, like a honey mustard dipping sauce. Only sweeter.