Toward A Taxonomy Of '90s Pop Songs You Kind Of Remember

Jul 13, 2012 at 9:05 am
click to enlarge A classic representative of the R&B-for-AIBO-owners species.
A classic representative of the R&B-for-AIBO-owners species.

I should begin here: During the actual '90s, I was much too busy listening to Japanese videogame soundtracks (educate yourself) to actually enjoy '90s pop music. My first-hand memories of most of it are hearing it in a car, at a skating rink, on somebody else's Discman, and shaking my head in lonely disapproval because the lyrics were in English. I love all of it now -- it feels, in hindsight, like I always have--but I am not the right man for the job of overgeneralizing every pop song from the '90s into neat, reductive categories.

Which is why I'm only going to start doing that. For the purposes of explaining to someone you've just met at a party which '90s music you like; for the purposes of chaos dunking on somebody when they act like their love of Candlebox is as cool as your love of Fastball; for the purposes of having pleasant, dreamy conversations with demographically appropriate companions about songs you first heard in the middle seats of a minivan, I humbly offer a few starter categories for the '90s pop songs you kind of remember enjoying, for use when you and a friend go on a YouTube binge some boring weekend night.

Please add more in the comments, as they occur to you. This is only a start, and I am only one man. One man whose favorite CD in 1999 was the soundtrack to Super Mario 64.

Rust-belt-sounding post-grunge Representative cases: Matchbox 20, Goo Goo Dolls Random, enjoyable singles: Matchbox 20 - "Real World"; Foo Fighters - "Everlong"; Our Lady Peace - "Clumsy"

I don't know if all or even most of the bands who made up this category--hookier and more "sold out" and less prone to solipsism and agorophobia than actual grunge--were actually from the rust belt, but all of the singers blend together, for me, into the guy from all the Yourself or Someone Like You singles: Young and white and in a dead-end job, working through a relationship that isn't very fulfilling, dreaming sincerely of being the "head honcho", living by an interstate exit with a Hardee's on each end.

For all that flyover country angst, though, my favorite examples of rust-belt-sounding post-grunge are the species's most overproduced singles. "Back 2 Good" and all those other Matchbox 20 songs might be about disenfranchised guys, but they're produced in full-on adult contemporary mode. And I love it.

Jammy acoustic pop-rock Representative cases: Hootie and the Blowfish, Sister Hazel, Dave Matthews Band Random, enjoyable singles: Hootie - "Hold My Hand"; Blues Traveler, that Blues Traveler song

This is a broad category, and I think scientists down the line might break it up into two subspecies--the Hootie side and the Dave side. The Hootie side is... rootsy, maybe? earthy? but otherwise content to strum through big, acoustic, hooky singles about being slightly quirky and monogamous. Science experiment: Put on an episode of Friends and play the songs "All For You," "Roll to Me," and "Runaround" back to back. Attempt to sing one without inadvertently singing the others.

The Dave side is... it's Dave. You've been near a college before, right? While I have you here, have you ever listened to the part of that song where he says "and I come into you" without feeling like a giggly thirteen-year-old boy?