Joey Bada$$ Is Performing in St. Louis Tonight, But You Can't Go

Rapper Joey Bada$$ will be gracing St. Louis with a performance this evening, but unless you're the type of millionaire who can afford tuition at Washington University or the type of super-genius who gets to go there for cheap on account of your superior intellect, you are not invited.

The Brooklyn native will be the headlining act at the school's Spring WILD event, held this year on Mudd Field and open exclusively to Wash U students. Opening up the show will be pop singer Iyaz, pop-rock band THEM and St. Louis' Non Euclidean Geometry. You cannot catch any of their performances either.

"But my money is good and my fandom is great," you may find yourself indignantly insisting. "I should get to go to the show too!" Too bad, idiot — if you'd simply studied harder or been born filthy rich you would have the chance, but as things stand it's a firm "no."

As reported by Wash U's Student Life newspaper, the school's Social Programming Board, which plans Spring WILD each year, took special care to ensure that the event's 2024 edition would be a more inclusive affair than it's been in the past. That means accommodations such as ADA seating for students with disabilities and Passover food options for Jewish students. That inclusivity does not extend to you, however, because you didn't have the good sense to crack the books or be born to a wealthy family. In keeping, there will be no accommodations for you whatsoever.

Joey Bada$$, for his part, made a lot of headlines in 2017 after vowing to stare at that year's eclipse and subsequently canceling multiple shows with fellow rapper Logic amid reports of an eye injury. Though he later admitted that the eye injury thing was a lie so he could drop out of that tour — and let's be honest, who can blame him for not wanting to hang out with Logic — when this year's eclipse came along he took to Twitter with the proclamation, “Y’all know I’m still gon look right?” This suggests that he perhaps could not be described as a particularly studious pupil himself, which serves to highlight a third way you could secure an invite to the show: Be a successful rapper who is asked to play it. (Clock's ticking on that one, though.)

At any rate, despite the college's refusal to let you, specifically, into its big party tonight, the fact that the administration is allowing its students to be on its campus is at least a step in the right direction when compared to some of its other recent actions. Baby steps!

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