If you're going to sag your pants, do it respectfully and responsibly. That's the message from Thomasina Clarke, who likens saggy pants to cursing at your mother. She invented Bagg'ns pants so tough guys can sag with style -- and without showing the world their underwear and their behind. Bagg'ns have two waistbands: one at the waist to hold the pants up and one below the hips to look like saggy, baggy jeans. Clarke tells the Daily RFT that are packin' -- love, not guns -- can rest assured; Bagg'ns have fourteen-inch zippers.
See also: Tired of Seeing Underwear, Mother Launches Clothing Line to Let People "Sag" with Dignity
For friends with kids: Billy Bob Teeth's Full Grillz Pacifier
Sometimes children can be loud. Keep them quiet in the most gangsta' of ways with the Full Grillz pacifier from Billy Bob Teeth in Hardin, Illinois, just an hour north of St. Louis. The shop's founder, Jonah White, grew up dirt poor in a log cabin and now sells all sorts of hillbilly products, including mullets and a gun that shoots liquor. If you're looking for a gift with a fascinating story behind it, look no further than "The Billy Bob Secret Guide to Life."
For friends with dicks: Nutshellz
Do you have someone on your gift list whose nuts you'd like to shoot off? Here's the best of both worlds! Nutshellz can protect the family jewels from a bullet, and we personally watched High Ridge inventor Jeremiah Raber shoot his creation with a Glock 34 9mm and a Walther p22. Raber layered Kevlar on ultra-high-molecular-weight polyethylene -- two materials many times the strength of steel -- to create the model to protect MMA fighters, but its success rate caught the eye of military and law enforcement officials, who say dick shots are a serious risk in their work.
See also: Video: A Test of "Nutshellz," the Saint Louis-Invented Groin Protector That Can Take a Bullet
Follow Lindsay Toler on Twitter at @StLouisLindsay. E-mail the author at [email protected].
