MONDAY, AUGUST 14. It’s beautiful weather — in August. What is this, San Diego? Also, that failed former real estate developer is indicted AGAIN, this time for messing with Georgia. At this point, Donald Trump is like a horror movie villain, still lurching around after taking repeated blows. His continued existence is the best argument we’ve seen for the preservative qualities of McDonald’s and Diet Coke.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 15. The weather is again idyllic, and the city is finally getting around to asking how they should spend that Rams money, which reminds us that we came into that windfall nearly a year ago. Also, isn’t it pretty obvious where spending is desperately needed? (911. We need people to answer when we call 911.) Bad news for the 100 or so students at Hawthorn Leadership School for Girls; the charter school closes suddenly, just days before the start of the school year.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 16. Chess.com has cut ties with the Saint Louis Chess Club over its failure to aggressively respond to sexual assault allegations. (Apparently not everyone shares St. Louis’ penchant for covering up for our friends. Who knew?) Meanwhile, the Cardinals’ two-day win streak ends with an8-0 loss to Oakland. Ouch.
THURSDAY, AUGUST 17. Using unnamed sources, the Post-Dispatch says Advantes Group’s deal to purchase the long-vacant AT&T tower is off. Also, Billy Busch, hitherto best known for beating up a sixth grader, says he’ll buy Bud Light if A-B doesn’t want it. He tells Tomi Lahren (gag), “Sell it back to the Busch family. Sell it to me.” He could totally make Bud Light great again, just like Kräftig!
FRIDAY, AUGUST 18. One day after the Post-Dispatch says the AT&T tower deal is off, the developer tells the Business Journal the deal is still on. Who to believe? The unnamed sources or the developers who inexplicably think St. Louis could support a “vertical city” and yet another downtown hotel? Everyone has credibility problems. In Jefferson City, it’s the Governor’s Ham Breakfast, which sounds awful, other than the whole “ham breakfast” part, and an unlikely hero has stepped up to safeguard the will of the people: The Missouri Association of Realtors kicks $100K into a new political action committee to protect the state’s ballot initiative laws.
SATURDAY, AUGUST 19. The Cardinals lose 13-2 to the Mets. The Mets! St. Louis has now lost four in a row and sit 16 games below .500. Thank God City SC is back tomorrow …
SUNDAY, AUGUST 20. Restoring our faith in local sports, City SC wins. Also, the St. Louis Police Foundation is spending $860,000 to put additional officers downtown, the Post-Dispatch reports. “What we really want to do is have more of an omnipresence,” says Chief Robert Tracy. Now even our regular policing is privately funded; can’t say we love this trend. West of here, the tropical storm previously known as Hurricane Hilary hits SoCal, along with an earthquake. We can’t sneer at their bad weather; it’s suddenly intensely hot and humid, with a week of terrible heat coming. Brace yourselves!
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