Video of Missouri Stray Goat Attack Goes Viral

Poor Kenny almost took a horn to the nards

Sep 5, 2023 at 9:20 am

[
          {
            "name": "GPT - Leaderboard - Inline - Content",
            "component": "41932919",
            "insertPoint": "5th",
            "startingPoint": "3",
            "requiredCountToDisplay": "3",
            "maxInsertions": 100
          }
          
        ]

People who don’t live in the Midwest might assume that Missourians know exactly what to do when confronted by an untamed animal. We’re thought of as corn-fed farm folk, but the fact is that most of us can’t even keep our houseplants alive, much less produce a thriving crop.

We leave farming — and animal husbandry — to the experts. The average Missourian wouldn’t have any clue what to do when confronted with an aggressive stray goat.

Case in point: this poor dude in Bolivar, Missouri. Located in the middle of Missouri north of Springfield, it’s not like Bolivar is a bustling metropolis. Still, this video makes it clear that even people out there have no clue what to do when face-to-bearded-face with a wild-ass goat.

The hilarious video shows what happened after a stray goat charged a young man named Kenny in a parking lot. Kenny can be seen attempting to protect himself by grabbing the goat by the horns and holding it away from his body.

“What is he doing?” Kenny yells to his friend filming the incident. “He won’t quit!”

The cameraman — who is repeatedly overtaken by fits of giggles — tells Kenny to push away the goat and let him go.

But Kenny knows better. He can feel that the goat is ready to fight.

“He’s, like, ready to go, man,” Kenny says before giving one final push of the goat and finally achieving separation between himself and the animal. But instead of backing down, the goat doubles down and rises up on his back legs, clearly ready to beef.

Our smart friend Kenny then bolts into a nearby business and closes the door. The goat stops at the door and then seems to accept temporary defeat.

The video ends with the goat standing in the parking lot, seemingly waiting for Kenny to come back out again so the rumble can continue.

Godspeed, young Kenny. May your biceps be strong and your testicles never be gored.