What Your St. Louis High School Says About You

Here in St. Louis, everybody always asks you where you went to high school. Why? People use it as a quick gauge to try to find out how you grew up. Rich kids went to fancy schools, poor kids went to substandard schools, etc.

But with this question comes a whole lot of assumptions. People will assume certain things about you just because of where you went to high school and many of those things are unfair or even mean — but some of them are hilarious.

Here's what people think about you when you tell them where you went to school in St. Louis.
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Central Visual and Performing Arts High School
Jazz hands!
Central Visual and Performing Arts High School
Jazz hands!
Bayless High School
You grew up in the city, but not really.
Bayless High School
You grew up in the city, but not really.
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Bishop DuBourg High School
You live in the city and you couldn’t get into any of your parents’ dream schools, but you ended up at a place with people of the opposite sex and where the drugs are plentiful, so who is the smart one now?
Bishop DuBourg High School
You live in the city and you couldn’t get into any of your parents’ dream schools, but you ended up at a place with people of the opposite sex and where the drugs are plentiful, so who is the smart one now?
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Chaminade College Preparatory School
You’re a rich kid.
Chaminade College Preparatory School
You’re a rich kid.
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Christian Brothers College High School
You’re a dude who thinks you’re the shit.
Christian Brothers College High School
You’re a dude who thinks you’re the shit.
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Clayton High School
Your dad was a lawyer.
Clayton High School
Your dad was a lawyer.
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Cleveland Junior Naval Academy
At some point, you wanted to join the Navy.
Cleveland Junior Naval Academy
At some point, you wanted to join the Navy.
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Cor Jesu Academy
You’re a big nerd but your chances at medical school are great.
Cor Jesu Academy
You’re a big nerd but your chances at medical school are great.
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Crossroads College Preparatory School
You're a stoner.
Crossroads College Preparatory School
You're a stoner.
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De Smet Jesuit High School
You’re a stoned pretty boy and not smart enough for SLU High.
De Smet Jesuit High School
You’re a stoned pretty boy and not smart enough for SLU High.
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Duschene High School
You live in St. Charles County and couldn’t get into any of the schools your parents wanted for you — but the drugs are plentiful and your school is co-ed, so you’re still winning.
Duschene High School
You live in St. Charles County and couldn’t get into any of the schools your parents wanted for you — but the drugs are plentiful and your school is co-ed, so you’re still winning.
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Fort Zumwalt East High School
You’re rich and act too good for everyone.
Fort Zumwalt East High School
You’re rich and act too good for everyone.
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Fort Zumwalt North High School
You’re a hick. Every party you ever went to was in some sort of corn or wheat field.
Fort Zumwalt North High School
You’re a hick. Every party you ever went to was in some sort of corn or wheat field.
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Fort Zumwalt South High School
You’re on drugs. (And maybe not the good kind.)
Fort Zumwalt South High School
You’re on drugs. (And maybe not the good kind.)
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Fort Zumwalt West High School
You had kids young.
Fort Zumwalt West High School
You had kids young.
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Fox Senior High School
You have been cow-tipping or know someone who has.
Fox Senior High School
You have been cow-tipping or know someone who has.
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Francis Howell Central
You were probably spoiled a little bit growing up, and made it everyone else's problem.
Francis Howell Central
You were probably spoiled a little bit growing up, and made it everyone else's problem.
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Hancock High School
You partied by the river.
Hancock High School
You partied by the river.
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Hazelwood High Schools (all of them)
You started playing football when you were three.
Hazelwood High Schools (all of them)
You started playing football when you were three.
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John Burroughs School
You’re loaded and all your teachers look like Jon Hamm.
John Burroughs School
You’re loaded and all your teachers look like Jon Hamm.
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