Failing Senate Candidate Wraps Escalade in Photos of Himself Doing Crime

click to enlarge Stay classy, McCloskey. - SEAN CHLADEK
Sean Chladek
Stay classy, McCloskey.

America's favorite unhinged lunatic turned convicted criminal turned failing Senate candidate evidently has a new line for his colorful resume these days: driver of luxury automobile with a photo of himself holding a gun  plastered onto it.

A local man named Sean Chladek spotted Senate hopeful Mark McCloskey cruising the streets of south city this week in his Escalade, which apparently is now covered in decals related to his spectacularly failing run. One prominently featured on the back depicts the moment he and his wife inexplicably lost their minds and needlessly pulled firearms on a crowd of people that was simply walking past their house in the summer of 2020. Chladek tells RFT that when he saw the absurd sight, he felt he had to take a picture.

"I was surprised enough when I walked past them at the Southtown Home Depot and couldn't not take a photo when I saw that clown car on the way home," Chladek tells RFT.

See also: Inside Gun-Surrendering Criminal Mark McCloskey's Very Sad St. Louis Rally

It's not surprising that a man who lives in a veritable museum of nouveau-riche tackiness would have the questionable taste necessary to turn a car that costs more than some people's homes into a rolling monument to his own derangement. It's also not surprising he'd stoop to such an embarrassing level, considering the fact he's doing really, really badly at the whole running-for-Senate thing.

According to recent internal polling released by the Greitens campaign, McCloskey is trailing dramatically in the GOP primary race, winning the votes of just five percent of surveyed voters. That tracks with information released by the partisan polling company the Trafalgar Group, whose March report also showed McCloskey at the bottom of the pack of ghouls running for the nomination.

Some onlookers might suggest that McCloskey's dismal performance could be due to the fact that he has put forth no policy ideas aside from Gun, that he seems to have no qualifications to run for public office other than Gun, and that even all of his neighbors hate him and have long before Gun. But those people would be overlooking just how passionate Missouri voters are about Gun, leading to an inevitable conclusion: McCloskey is just a loser, and a deeply unlikable man.

For his part, McCloskey surely knows all of that. And that's why he's leaning into the one and only thing people seem to like about him, pitiful as it may be.

After all, if you want to win, you gotta stay on message. And that message is: Gun.

About The Author

Daniel Hill

Daniel Hill is the managing editor for the Riverfront Times and he demands to be taken seriously, despite all evidence to the contrary. Follow him on Twitter at @rftmusic.
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