I thought I'd seen the pinnacle of pot-purchasing convenience as a teenager.
Back in those days, one of the people whom I would frequent for weed-buying purposes had set up an ingenious method of peddling his wares out of his parents' basement. This fella, who I'm going to refer to as This Guy going forward (not to be confused with The Guy or That Guy), had installed a small doorbell on the outside of his basement window. But rather than ringing a bell when pushed, the button was hooked up to a lamp, so whenever someone would come to pick up a bag, they'd simply hit the button a couple of times, whereupon a light would begin flashing in This Guy's room, alerting him to the presence of a customer. This Guy would then open up his window, greet whomever was standing outside and supply them with whatever they came to buy.
It was genius, really. This Guy's parents were none the wiser, because they wouldn't even notice people coming over and sneaking into their side yard, nor would they hear anything when people did show up. It also 86ed the tedious ritual of having to sit in your dealer's house and pretend to care about anything they have to say, as you were on your way in mere minutes and never even invited inside in the first place. Really, it was a great setup.
And while it's still fair to say that was the most convenient way I have ever purchased ten-strips of acid tabs in my life, we have an exciting new contender on the weed front, thanks to the drive-through window at Greenlight Dispensary's Ferguson location (517 South Florissant Road, Ferguson; 844-785-9333).
The ordering process here is even easier than the ingenious idea This Guy had concocted. Customers simply hop onto Greenlight's online menu, pick out what they want and then upload photos of their ID and medical card. Once the order is accepted, you get a series of text messages helpfully telling you its status until you're ultimately informed that it's time to come pick up your goods.
The drive-through itself is located in the back of Greenlight's Ferguson location and is less like a fast-food situation than it is an automatic car wash. Customers pull up to a bay door and wait for it to open, whereupon you pull into a small garage with a window within. There, you hand over your ID and medical card, and soon you are handed a bag containing your goods, after which a second bay door opens and you're on your way. No muss, no fuss.
That process was a dream, and certainly a huge selling point for Greenlight, but I still wanted to get a good sense of the dispensary itself, so after I finished that transaction I parked my car out front and made my way inside. Greenlight is different from many of the local dispensaries in that it doesn't seem to be trying too hard to style itself as a house of medicine, which can come across as kind of stuffy — on my visit, for example, Ludacris, Busta Rhymes and Nelly were all playing over the house speakers, none of whom I've ever heard at my doctor's office. As a fan of early 2000s radio rap, I found it to be a welcome development. Upon entry, I gave my ID and medical card to the person behind the front desk and sat for just a moment in a small waiting area before my budtender came and led me to the sales floor.